No-good pesky clients

‘I hate those no-good, pesky clients.’ It was OldSmoothie at chambers tea today. ‘The world would be so much easier without their dithering in the witness box and tut-tutting behind your back,’ said HeadofChambers. ‘That’s not my problem, exactly,’ said OldSmoothie, ‘although you do have a point. It’s that I rarely actually like any of […]

December 10, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Brass neck

OldSmoothie popped into my room yesterday afternoon. “BabyB, I need a little assistance for a conference I have tomorrow morning. The papers arrived a week ago and I’ve had my pupil make a note of the main issues. I just need you to go through and sort out the wood from the trees.” “I’m in […]

December 3, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Mid-life crisis for lawyers

‘I’ve decided to specialise in human rights,’ said OldSmoothie in the clerk’s room today. ‘Will that be for or against?’ asked BusyBody. ‘It’s always been a particular passion of mine and I think it’s about time I started to reflect that in my practice,’ he replied, ignoring her dig. ‘This is just the mid-life crisis […]

November 26, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Controlling the narrative

“It’s all about taking control of the narrative,” said TheBusker to a group of pupils yesterday after they’d asked how he always manages to win his cases. “Simplify it down to a clear story and then tell it to the judge at every opportunity.” “Oh, come on,” said TheVamp. “It’s a little more than that […]

November 19, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Selling off the Inns of Court

“I was reading an article recently about barristers’ dinners and it got me thinking once again about who really owns the Inns of Court,” said TheBusker today. “Each Inn owns itself,” said HeadofChambers, “and is run by the Benchers. Particularly well, too, even if I do say so myself.” “I do understand,” said TheBusker. “But […]

November 12, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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The lawyers always win

As OldSmoothie was walking into the clerks room this morning, everyone could hear him bellowing into his beloved iPhone. “Mother, as I’ve said before, if I only have one wise thing to say in my whole being it is that you should avoid litigation like the plague.” He looked around the room and realising he […]

November 5, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Ethical dilemmas

A pupil rushed into the clerks room today with a look of blind panic. “What do I do? Ridiculously, I accidentally emailed my written advice to the other side’s solicitor who I also do a lot of work for. Should I call them up and tell them not to read it?” “All I’d say,” said […]

October 22, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Money for old rope

HeadClerk passed me a brief this morning and said, “Sir, directions hearing tomorrow morning at 10:30. £500 for a five minute hearing. Everything agreed.” “MFOR,” said OldSmoothie and when I looked bemused he added, “Money for old rope. It’s basically how much solicitors are prepared to pay someone to go and visit a grot hole […]

October 15, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Courtroom gimmicks

“Don’t you just hate it when TheBusker pulls his handkerchief trick?” said BusyBody today. “He did it against me yesterday just as I was making my best point to the jury. Started pulling a red spotted handkerchief out of the breast pocket of his suit and it just kept on coming. Must have been at […]

October 8, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Keep the client in his place

One of the pupils arrived back into chambers today almost in tears. Apparently the client turned on him after the case and complained that he didn’t run it as he’d told him to. “I just don’t know what I did wrong,” he complained. “Let me guess,” said OldSmoothie. “You asked him about his family?” “Yes.” […]

October 1, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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