No-good pesky clients

‘I hate those no-good, pesky clients.’ It was OldSmoothie at chambers tea today.

‘The world would be so much easier without their dithering in the witness box and tut-tutting behind your back,’ said HeadofChambers.

‘That’s not my problem, exactly,’ said OldSmoothie, ‘although you do have a point. It’s that I rarely actually like any of my clients. My criminals ones are just that – criminals – and my civil ones are all just trying to get something for nothing.’

‘Such a shame we can’t pick and choose them,’ said HeadofChambers.

‘But no cab rank rule would take away the guarantee of representation to all,’ said UpTights.

‘Which is a little rich coming from the lady who insists on representing big business and always finds a conflict to get her out of the little man cases,’ said OldSmoothie.

‘Oh do leave TheCreep out of this,’ said TheVamp patting him on the head.

‘More importantly,’ said HeadClerk, ‘I’m not sure you’d find much work if you always insisted on likeable clients.’

‘And I never hear you complaining when you receive a cheque on behalf of those same pesky nuisances,’ said BusyBody.

‘Clients, huh,’ said TheVamp. ‘Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.’

‘And such high-minded thoughts are what makes me proud to be a part of the old and honourable tradition which is the bar,’ said TheBusker.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

December 10, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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