BabyBarista

A worm's eye view of the English Bar

• Home
• Privacy Policy

Archive for November, 2013

Mid-life crisis for lawyers

‘I’ve decided to specialise in human rights,’ said OldSmoothie in the clerk’s room today. ‘Will that be for or against?’ asked BusyBody. ‘It’s always been a particular passion of mine and I think it’s about time I started to reflect that in my practice,’ he replied, ignoring her dig. ‘This is just the mid-life crisis […]

November 26, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog · Posted in: Uncategorized

Controlling the narrative

“It’s all about taking control of the narrative,” said TheBusker to a group of pupils yesterday after they’d asked how he always manages to win his cases. “Simplify it down to a clear story and then tell it to the judge at every opportunity.” “Oh, come on,” said TheVamp. “It’s a little more than that […]

November 19, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog · Posted in: Uncategorized

Lawyers are just glorified car mechanics

Brought to you with the support of our friends at The Incorporated Council of Law Reporting “All we are is glorified car mechanics,” said UpTights at Chambers tea today. “Just fixing minor errors caused by solicitors.” “Except not so glorified,” said TheBusker. “Yes, I doubt there’d be many mechanics who’d be pleased with the comparison,” […]

November 17, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Posted in: ICLR, Sponsored

Selling off the Inns of Court

“I was reading an article recently about barristers’ dinners and it got me thinking once again about who really owns the Inns of Court,” said TheBusker today. “Each Inn owns itself,” said HeadofChambers, “and is run by the Benchers. Particularly well, too, even if I do say so myself.” “I do understand,” said TheBusker. “But […]

November 12, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog · Posted in: Uncategorized

The lawyers always win

As OldSmoothie was walking into the clerks room this morning, everyone could hear him bellowing into his beloved iPhone. “Mother, as I’ve said before, if I only have one wise thing to say in my whole being it is that you should avoid litigation like the plague.” He looked around the room and realising he […]

November 5, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog · Posted in: Uncategorized

• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets