I’m appealing

UpTights was against OldSmoothie today and his pupil reported what happened later in the day. When she turned up, she looked more uneasy than usual. ‘I’ve started a new diet,’ she said somewhat defensively as she approached. ‘Four hundred calories a day all taken as liquid.’ As she got closer the reason for this introduction […]

October 21, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Handling the client

I don’t know what it is about family law barristers but there’s a large number that seem to take the whole thing extremely personally. I say that after having had to endure such a case this morning. As I sat flicking through my papers in the robing room, the peace and tranquility was suddenly interrupted […]

October 14, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Judicial assistance

Okay, so here’s an admission. I do a lot of car cases. I cross-examine other drivers on their driving abilities and have a go at them for breaching the Highway Code. Pretty average for a common law barrister, you might say. That is, were it not for the fact that I’ve never actually learned to […]

October 7, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Blustering buffoons

‘One of the great advantages of being a barrister is that it’s almost completely unaccountable to the people who employ you in the first few formative years of practisc.’ It was OldSmoothie lecturing one of the new pupils. ‘Formative in the sense of making mistakes off the backs of others,’ said HeadofChambers. The pupil looked […]

September 30, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Crying wolf

OldSmoothie was moaning about insurance companies today. ‘There’s one out there at the moment which is haemorrhaging losses so fast that it’s pretty much gone into meltdown. Simply stopped paying any claims and spuriously claiming that they’re investigating the possibility of fraud on each one.’ ‘Can they get away with that?’ I asked. ‘It’ll probably […]

September 23, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Clothes make the man

‘I assume that you don’t intend to go to court like that BabyBarista?’ It was HeadofChambers. ‘Er, yes, that’s exactly what I’m about to do. Is there something wrong?’ ‘Is there something wrong? Hmm, where to start?’ He took a deep breath and went on, ‘BabyBarista, I had the benefit of having been born looking […]

September 16, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Honour among er, barristers

With wars, terrorism, government cuts and warnings of imminent economic collapse, there’s at least one constant in this fragile world: that lawyers will always be arguing about their costs. Not just arguing but passionately putting forward their cases in a way rarely seen when their own cash isn’t involved. Greed for lawyers is certainly good, […]

September 9, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Car crash barrister

There’s a young barrister who’s fast becoming notorious around the Temple as the worst barrister ever. His pleadings are embarrassing and his performances in court have the same rubber-necking attraction as a terrible car crash playing itself out in slow motion. Today, TheBusker had the pleasure of being against him and he was telling the […]

September 2, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Dirty barristers

UpTights had her annual wig-fitting yesterday. Given that she’s now spent many thousands of pounds on the little horse hair numbers, she even gets a personal visit to chambers. As usual she was talking about it at chambers tea afterwards. ‘It’s so good to throw out the old,’ she said. ‘What do you do with […]

August 26, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Body language

BusyBody was busier than ever today and her hair consequently just that little bit more curly. ‘My life coach has given me a new way of winning my cases,’ she said slightly breathlessly. ‘Like passing them to someone else, maybe?’ suggested OldSmoothie. ‘That’s a bit rich coming from the man who’s made a living out […]

August 19, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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