Body language

BusyBody was busier than ever today and her hair consequently just that little bit more curly. ‘My life coach has given me a new way of winning my cases,’ she said slightly breathlessly.

‘Like passing them to someone else, maybe?’ suggested OldSmoothie.

‘That’s a bit rich coming from the man who’s made a living out of going down in flames for his clients,’ she replied.

‘So what’s the new tactic?’ asked TheBusker.

‘It’s all about body language,’ she said.

‘A big subject then in your own case,’ saidOldSmoothie.

She ignored him and went on, ‘Yes, he says that if I mirror what the judge is doing it’ll make him warm to whatever I’m saying.’

‘What, copying how he’s sitting?’ asked TheCreep sounding very interested.

‘Exactly. He also said that when the other side are making a killer point that it was better to sit with your shoulders completely open as if you don’t have a care in the world. That and occasionally clasping your hands together as an indication of confidence.’

‘Did he also say that you shouldn’t cross your arms?’ asked TheVamp.

‘He did actually. Said it looked defensive. He also told me never to cross my legs.’

OldSmoothie looked like he was going to make a comment but clearly even he thought better of it.

‘So,’ said TheVamp smiling, ‘if you’re going to be copying the average judge…’

‘Is there any other?’ chortled HeadofChambers exhibiting the big chip he has on his shoulder about never having been made a judge.

‘…then,’ continued TheVamp, ‘that’ll mean picking your nose, yawning loudly and putting your head in your hands I guess.’

‘In between occasional snores,’ added TheBusker.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

August 19, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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