Archive for August, 2010

Monday morning with Alex Williams’ cartoons


This cartoon is by Alex Williams who draws the Queen’s Counsel cartoons for The Times and in numerous books including Lawyers Uncovered. He also does the cartoons for BabyBarista and has had two more excellent books published recently: 101 Ways to Leave the Law and 101 Uses for a Useless Banker. He offers almost all of his cartoons for sale at £120 for originals and £40 for copies and they can be obtained from this email info@qccartoon.com.

August 30, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Weekend video: Ari Gold from ‘Entourage’

August 28, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Virgin on the rude

‘I’ve been examining mini-pupils today,’ said OldSmoothie at chambers tea.

‘Yes, I bet you have,’ said BusyBody sarcastically.

‘In every conceivable way, no doubt,’ said UpTights.

‘Intimately,’ added BusyBody.

‘You know, sometimes I get sick and tired of the two of you lowering the tone of every conversation. Particularly when it concerns the people who carry the future of this great nation on their shoulders. Low-grade petty and potty-mouthed cant if you ask me.’

‘I’d take potty-mouthed cant any day over being a fat, potty-mouthed…’ at which TheVamp interrupted with, ‘…runt, naturally.’

With which OldSmoothie put on his most haughty and pompous look and said,
‘Ladies, listen to yourselves carping away and looking like the three witches in Macbeth. In the words of Aristophanes: “To be insulted by you is to be garlanded with lilies.”‘

August 24, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Monday morning with Alex Williams’ cartoons


This cartoon is by Alex Williams who draws the Queen’s Counsel cartoons for The Times and in numerous books including Lawyers Uncovered. He also does the cartoons for BabyBarista and has had two more excellent books published recently: 101 Ways to Leave the Law and 101 Uses for a Useless Banker. He offers almost all of his cartoons for sale at £120 for originals and £40 for copies and they can be obtained from this email info@qccartoon.com.

August 23, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Independent on Sunday gives ‘Law and Disorder’ four stars!

The Independent on Sunday today gave Law and Disorder four stars in a book review by Inbali Iserles. To read it click here or see below:

“Litigation is like war.” So BabyBarista is told on being presented with a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War during his first day in chambers. BabyB is about to find out that the battle lines are drawn not only in the courtroom but between the barristers who will be his neighbours for the next year of continual assessment. It is a lesson he is quick to learn – if fraud, philandering and a string of transgressions are to dictate which of the aspiring pupils make tenancy, BabyB plans to give as good as he gets.

Law and Disorder started life as an anonymous blog and its appeal as a novel is obvious. Tim Kevan, a former barrister himself, has a sharp eye for detail. While his cast tends toward caricature, one suspects that there is more than a kernel of truth to the pompous, sexist HeadofChambers, BabyB’s conceited peer TopFirst and SlipperySlope, a solicitor “skilled in the creative art of billing”.

August 22, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Weekend video: A Few Good Men

August 21, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Drink driving

With summer holidays looming there’s a definite de-mob happy feel to chambers at the moment and today TheVamp and I went out for a lazy lunch after having agreed a very fruitful settlement for both of us (and of course our respective clients).

We certainly weren’t planning on returning to chambers and the beer was flowing freely. Then three pints in and TheVamp received a call from HeadClerk.
‘Since you’re now both free, do you think you could cover for us for two of our pupils at three o’clock in Horseferry Road Magistrates? Tiny plea in mitigation. Won’t take long.’

Well, when HeadClerk calls, it’s not really a request. More a thinly veiled instruction and so the two of us staggered back to chambers to collect our respective briefs. When TheVamp saw that it was a drink driving case that I was prosecuting and she was defending she said,

‘Have you ever played the drink driving game at court, BabyB?’

‘Er, no. What’s that exactly?’

‘Bit like the James Bond drinking game but instead you have to drink whenever the words ‘drink’ or ‘driving’ are mentioned. Both words and it’s two drinks. Simple, really. Oh, and you just put vodka in a water bottle and fill your glass from that.’

Yes, quite simple and also quite extraordinarily illegal and unprofessional. Which certainly wasn’t going to stop us now that we were on a roll.

‘I mean if we both do it,’ added TheVamp, ‘it still keeps the trial fair.’

‘Well, quite,’ I agreed.

The only mitigating feature of the whole case was that when we arrived at court TheVamp’s client also stank of drink and so neither he nor anyone around her realised that she had also been drinking as well. As for me, I tip-toed into the office of the Crown Prosecution Service and quietly took the brief whilst avoiding speaking to anyone. Once in court and the more we tried to make our drinking appear subtle and nonchalant, the more we failed. So much so that at one point the District Judge said to TheVamp,
‘These drink driving cases can be thirsty work, MsVamp? May I pass you an extra drink of water?’

Which of course simply elicited three more gulps of vodka from the two of us. Thankfully, all I had to do was introduce the case since the man had already pleaded guilty and sentencing was all that remained. But then when it came to TheVamp’s submissions, they did get a little flowery,
‘Shir, drink driving [two more sips] is the bane of our soshiety and we’re all aware of the shlogan “Don’t drink [one sip] and drive [and another]: accidents cause children.” Indeed, accidents can alsho harm children Shir and sho for all of those reashons it ish what the authors of ‘1066 and All That’ would call “A very bad thing indeed.” But despite this Shir, all I can ashk is that the court take mercy on this man’s soul. Now and forever. Amen.”

With which she sat down.

August 18, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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‘Law and Disorder’ now available as an e-book

I’m really pleased to say that Law and Disorder has now been made available as an e-book. It’s available at Amazon’s Kindle store and can be read not only on their own Kindle device but also for example on iPhones and iPads using the Kindle app. You can buy it here at a reduced price of £6.53.

August 17, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Monday morning with Alex Williams’ cartoons


This cartoon is by Alex Williams who draws the Queen’s Counsel cartoons for The Times and in numerous books including Lawyers Uncovered. He also does the cartoons for BabyBarista and has had two more excellent books published recently: 101 Ways to Leave the Law and 101 Uses for a Useless Banker. He offers almost all of his cartoons for sale at £120 for originals and £40 for copies and they can be obtained from this email info@qccartoon.com.

August 16, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Weekend video: Rumpole of the Bailey’s first episode

August 14, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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