OldSmoothie was boasting last night to just a couple of us in the clerks room about his latest sexual conquest. Apparently she was not only his opponent last week but is also twenty years younger than him. UpTights walked in on the conversation and said: “You really are a sad, lonely and dirty old man. […]

December 29, 2015 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Who guards the guards?

OldRuin was in chambers today and talking to HeadClerk about police powers. “It’s the age old problem,” he said. “It’s all very well having an independent police force but then who guards the guards?” “We do. The people,” said HeadClerk. “You know, through Parliament.” “You’re right, of course,” answered OldRuin. “But who guards them?” “Well, […]

December 8, 2015 · Tim Kevan · 5 Comments
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No touchy feely at the Bar

“I feel that the Apple Watch is going to take off, you know,” said PupilFodder. “Young lady,” said HeadofChambers sternly, “psychologists feel, not barristers.” She looked flustered and started to correct herself with: “Oh, sorry, I believe that…” “Believe? Believe?” said HeadofChambers, his voice rising. “Only priests believe my dear. Barristers are not paid to do either […]

July 28, 2015 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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The joys of being self-employed

“You know, alternative business structures are going to lead to us all working for solicitors firms,” said UpTights at chambers tea today. “Yeh right, as if we, the Bar, are going to do that,” said OldSmoothie. “But you already do,” said TheBusker, breaking it to him gently. “Oh, hmm, well, maybe so technically, but we don’t […]

July 21, 2015 · Tim Kevan · 3 Comments
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Lack of insight

Very weird conversation in the clerks room this morning as everyone discussed this blog. Specifically they were talking about which characters they all think they most resemble. “I’d like to be OldRuin,” said TheCreep, but I think I’m probably more like TheBusker.” Incredulous looks increased further when BusyBody then added: “And I’m definitely Worrier.” “Well […]

July 14, 2015 · Tim Kevan · 4 Comments
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Old school settlements

FanciesHimself the junior clerk was negotiating a fee for one of OldRuin’s cases today with a long-time solicitor friend of OldRuin. Apparently he was looking for an increase in the fee and the answer came back: “I’ll up the offer from pounds to guineas. I’m in favour of guineas and I think OldRuin should be […]

June 30, 2015 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
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The new iPratt

OldSmoothie spent the whole weekend emailing people from his shiny new iPad hoping that they’d notice that it says ‘Sent from my iPad’. Unfortunately for him, what he hasn’t yet realised is that BusyBody got hold of it on Friday morning when he ostentatiously and wholly ‘by accident’ left it lying around in the clerks […]

June 1, 2010 · Tim Kevan · 5 Comments
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Year 4, week 34: waiting for Frodo

Awkward silences today as a chambers meeting sat waiting for TheCreep to arrive since he was scheduled to be making a presentation. After a couple of minutes of strained conversation, TheBusker said: “A bit like Waiting for Godot.” “Or as ClichéClanger always put it,” said OldSmoothie, “waiting to pass go.” To which TheVamp replied, making […]

May 18, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 4, week 31: OldSoak

OldSoak the resident chambers alcoholic was in chambers today and lecturing a couple of ridiculously earnest mini-pupils which have appeared with the holidays upon us. “You know, you kids should all slow down”, he said.  “You’re all in far too much of a rush to be getting on these days.  It’s all work, work, work.  […]

April 29, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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