Year 4, week 31: OldSoak

OldSoak the resident chambers alcoholic was in chambers today and lecturing a couple of ridiculously earnest mini-pupils which have appeared with the holidays upon us. “You know, you kids should all slow down”, he said.  “You’re all in far too much of a rush to be getting on these days.  It’s all work, work, work.  Careers advisers and goal-setting.  Why not let fate take a hand for once?  Let life flow a little more easily.”
TheBusker joined in with: “You know, I would definitely suggest doing a few more things outside of law whilst you’re at college.”

The worst of the two I’ll call KeanieBeanie since he’s been pestering pretty much every member of chambers through his offers of help and would make even TopFirst appear like a stand-up comedian replied: “But how will that help my pupillage applications?”
The walking talking irony that is UpTights then waded in with: “Don’t you have a life other than the law?”
“No.”
“Well you need to get one, young man.”
“What would you suggest?”
“Well, er, I don”t know. Er,…”

That had her stumped.  Then OldSoak piped up: “Drinking and fornication, young man. Don’t they teach you anything at Oxford these days?”
HeadofChambers added, “You know, I always thought the word venery summed up what youth should be about. The thrill of the chase in all sense of the word. Fillies, firm young limbs and the huntsman’s horn.”

By this time KeanieBeanie had turned the colour of his brand new bright red braces and had sidled over to stand next to TheCreep who is the one person he’s been getting on with in chambers. As they stood next to each other, all shiny faces with rosy cheeks like a couple of cup-cakes fresh from the baker’s oven, TheVamp commented: “Mini-me, you complete me.”

April 29, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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