Steering clear of the clients

“It’s about time everyone in chambers qualified for direct access,” announced the modernising Slick today.

“You must be joking,” said OldSmoothie. “Can’t think of anything worse, in fact.”

“What? You don’t want access to that huge pile of potential fees which is the general public?” said Slick.

“It’s all very well giving us direct access to them,” he replied. “But what you seem to forget is that that also gives them reciprocal rights of access to us.”

“It’s bad enough having solicitors being able to bother us day in day out,” said HeadofChambers. “But at least they filter out the worst excesses of the lay clients.”

“What? Like them ringing you every day with one more worry or another? I already have plenty of solicitors who do that,” said BusyBody.

“Or questioning your judgment every time you offer advice?” said TheVamp.

“Again, solicitors are far worse for that,” said TheCreep.

“Or not paying you on time?” said TheBusker.

“Er, I think even the worst lay client wouldn’t consider it normal to wait two years before even thinking about getting round to considering whether to pay up,” said OldRuin.

“But lay clients have no perspective on their cases. They take everything so personally,” said OldSmoothie.

“And that differs from solicitors in what way, exactly?” smiled Teflon.

“So actually, we’re decided that solicitor clients are even more annoying than lay clients?” said Slick.

“More so, since they also think they have the right to boss us around,” said UpTights.

“Which to be fair, given that they’re paying the bills, they do,” said BusyBody.

“Maybe it’d be better if we had no access to solicitor or lay clients. A whole world of peace and quiet,” said TheVamp cheerfully.

“Peace and quiet and no money,” said HeadClerk.

With which the conversation ended abruptly.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan whose new novel is Law and Peace. For more information and to read past posts visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

June 3, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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