Glamping barristers

“I’m just back from living it large at Glastonbury,” said OldSmoothie the other day at tea.

The younger members of chambers winced at his turn of phrase.

“The end of cool as we know it,” said TheVamp.

“It’s worse than that,” said BusyBody. “Apparently TheCreep had also hired a couple of yurts in order to entertain some solicitors and they bumped into OldSmoothie as they were all unsuccessfully trying to blag their way into the VIP area backstage.”

“That whole image just doesn’t bear thinking about,” said Teflon.

“Well I think any form of corporate entertainment is a good thing,” said Slick, clearly seeing an opportunity to extend his reach a little further. “In fact, if solicitors like that sort of thing perhaps we should start looking at organising a chambers event at one of these festivals.”

“How about the Burning Man Festival in the States?” smiled TheVamp.

“Brilliant idea,” said Slick, clearly not seeing the funny side of a bunch of middle-aged barristers stuck out in a fancy dress dance party in the middle of the desert.

“We could even put it against tax,” said TheCreep.

“In just the same way that I have always seen membership of my St. James’s club as a business expense,” said HeadofChambers.

“Naturally,” smiled OldSmoothie, “and the same goes for the four high-priced the tickets to the Olympic beach volleyball which I will be using on my own favourite solicitors.”

“And who says we’re not allowed to buy cases, huh,” said TheVamp.

“Maybe we should just go for a weekend away in a nice big country hotel,” said HeadClerk.

“It’d be like one of those terrible get together weekends that Tory MPs used to do in opposition,” said BusyBody. “All woolly jumpers and chords and chortling excitedly about how funny it is to see each other in such casual civies gear.”

“A team-building weekend away would work wonders,” said Slick. “Maybe we could hire out a farm for a weekend. That would be great fun.”

“Not for the farmer,” said UpTights.

TheBusker smiled. “Yes, Slick could give a moo-ving speech, OldSmoothie could make a pig’s ear of his by boaring on and HeadClerk could steer us all in the right direction.”

“Eggs-ellent,” said TheVamp, “and we’d all learn that it’s not just what ewe say but sow you say it.”

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan whose new novel is Law and Peace. For more information visit and to read past posts visit Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

July 1, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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