BabyBarista

A worm's eye view of the English Bar

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Archive for June, 2014

Stealing clients

Following Slick’s little modernising speech, HeadClerk is particularly sensitive to demonstrating that the old school ways are best and this week he went into overdrive a little while back on his usual trick involving QC celebration parties. You see, every QC has one, and tradition has it that it’s simply bad form not to invite […]

June 24, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

The modernisers are revolting

The other day we all went to the celebration party of a barrister in chambers who has just been made a QC. Actually, he’s only just been made a tenant in chambers as well, having joined from another set where it was said that he didn’t feel he was getting quite the attention he deserved. Though […]

June 17, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

The legal credit crunch

Chambers called an emergency chambers meeting yesterday. HeadofChambers explained why in his opening. “It has come to my attention that a number of solicitors’ firms have been selling off their future earnings to loan sharks.” “What’s the problem with that?” asked OldSmoothie. “It’s common business practice to factor the debts you’re owed at a discount […]

June 10, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

Exploitation at law

Poor old PanicStricken. She was visiting chambers today and BusyBody called her into chambers tea and started asking her about how she is getting on at SlipperySlope’s solicitors’s firm. “Not getting on, since you ask,” she replied. “I’m now working fifteen hours a day and he’s reduced my wages to er, nothing.” “What?” said BusyBody. […]

June 3, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets