When I grow up

The new pupils were all lined up this afternoon in chambers tea gossiping together about their experiences of their first week in chambers.

“So what sort of practice would you most want to have when you’re older?” asked BusyBody of one.

“I’d really love to be a human rights lawyer,” came the reply. “Though obviously, I’d also love to be doing lots of the road traffic accidents which chambers specialises in,” she added defensively.

“What about you?” asked TheVamp of another somewhat tweedy looking pupil.

“Ever since I was fourteen and first started reading the law reports, I’ve always wanted to be a judge.”

All other conversations suddenly stopped. “Did I hear that right,” said OldSmoothie. “A judge? Your childhood ambition was to be a judge?”

“Er, yes,”

“It’s a shame you’re not in France and able to train for high judicial office at a young age,” said TheCreep earnestly.

“Do you really think they can train people to be grumpy, bored, impatient bullies?” said BusyBody.

“Where did it all go wrong,” said TheBusker. “Didn’t you ever just want to rebel against society?”

“Er, no,” said the pupil with both admirable honesty and a complete lack of insight into how this was going down.

“So young to have lost his dreams,” said TheVamp. “Surely there’s got to be something more meaningful in life than aspiring to be casting judgment on people and their problems?”

“What like your tripping and slipping cases or my car accidents? I hardly think they set the world alight either,” said TheBusker.

“All are from dust, and all turn to dust again,” said OldRuin. “I’ve often had this in mind when I wipe the dust off my old law reports. Reminds me how short and how precious the little time we have really is.”

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan whose new novel is Law and Peace. For more information and to read past posts visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

May 21, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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