Conflicts of interest

OldSmoothie’s friend BigMouth somehow managed to survive the electorate and remains a Tory MP albeit, like an old piece of chewing gum, forever stuck to the backbenches. Yesterday he was in chambers looking for a little assistance and OldSmoothie brought me into the conference to take notes.

“Two of my constituents lost their entire life savings a year or two ago when it turned out that their fund manager had been investing their cash in derivatives linked to the sub-prime market in the States. All despite the fact that they had instructed him to put their money in low risk ventures only.”
“I see,” said OldSmoothie. “And you want us to sue the fund manager on their behalf?”
“Er, well, not quite actually. Though they’re certainly asking for a little help and assistance from me in that regard. The problem is that the fund manager was, er, well…”
“Come on man, spit it out,” said OldSmoothie. “You’re among friends here.”
“Well, the fund manager was not just best man at my wedding. He also gives me ten per cent of the profits of his firm on the basis that I allow him to use my office at the Commons to meet and to entertain clients.”
“Oh. Now I see the problem. It’s a straightforward conflict of interest. Presumably you declare this cash?”
“Er, well, not exactly…” said BigMouth.
“How not exactly don’t you declare it?” asked OldSmoothie starting to get impatient.
“Not exactly at all in fact,” said BigMouth. “Because the money is paid to an account I have in the Cayman Islands.”
Oh.

June 16, 2010 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
Posted in: Uncategorized

One Response

  1. Missing the story - June 17, 2010

    Speaking of conflicts of interest Baby B, what has become of your own problems with the Moldy litigation? The Moldy posts are still there in the Google cache, but have disappeared from the current site. We, your loyal readers, are anxious for an update. Surely judgment is nigh!