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A worm's eye view of the English Bar

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Archive for January, 2017

Monday morning with Alex Williams’ cartoons

This cartoon is by Alex Williams who draws the Queen’s Counsel cartoons for The Times and in numerous books including The Queen’s Counsel Lawyer’s Omnibus. He offers almost all of his cartoons for sale at £120 for originals and £40 for copies and they can be obtained from this email info@qccartoon.com.

January 30, 2017 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Posted in: Uncategorized

Procuring work

“It’s about time we organised a lavish chambers party,” said Slick today. “Yes, because everyone knows that free champagne is the most cost-effective way of getting them to give you work,” said TheVamp sarcastically. “Exactly,” said Slick without a hint of irony. “In my last chambers we always budgeted for two bottles of the finest vintage […]

January 25, 2017 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog · Posted in: Uncategorized

Not a penny more

Old Smoothie popped round to UpTights’ room yesterday.  They have a case listed against each other next week and he wanted to try and settle it early.  OldSmoothie is for a mother who was knocked over by a drunk driver and seriously injured. “The Clerks tell me we’re against each other next week,” said OldSmoothie. […]

January 18, 2017 · Tim Kevan · 7 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

Divas

Apparently there was an opera singer dining on High Table in Gray’s Inn Hall last night.  The diva surrounded by some of the country’s most distinguished barristers and judges. “Doesn’t open her mouth for less than £20,000 apparently,”  HeadOfChambers reported at tea this afternoon. “She was in good company then,” OldSmoothie piped up.

January 11, 2017 · Tim Kevan · 2 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

TheBusker

Today I looked into another courtroom and spotted TheBusker.  He always seems particularly relaxed, almost to the point of seeming a little spaced on occasion.  Today was no exception and this was exacerbated by the fact that he was against TheCreep.  Never could there have been two such different styles.  It was a building dispute and […]

January 4, 2017 · Tim Kevan · 15 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets