Big wigs, law suits and custard

“My client today was quite a bigwig in the music industry by all accounts,” said BusyBody at chambers tea.

“I love the idea of bigwigs,” said TheBusker. “I’ve always imagined these very important people walking around with huge over-sized barrister wigs on their heads which reach down as far as their ankles. Just kind of shuffling along and doing important things.”

“When I hear on the TV that someone’s fighting a lawsuit, it always makes me think of them going a few rounds in a boxing ring with a ghostly type of empty suit. Just punching into thin air,” said BusyBody.

“Which doesn’t sound too far from the truth,” said TheCreep.

“As a personal injury lawyer, when someone mentions that something will cost an arm and a leg, I can’t help working out exactly how much that it is,” said Teflon.

“I’ve always thought the idea of legal practice to be particularly apposite, said OldSmoothie before adding, though I’ve never quite worked out when the practice is supposed to end and the real work meant to start.”

“It’s the word custody which does it for me,” said TheVamp. “Whenever I hear someone getting so many years I can’t help visualising them being sentenced to spending it standing up in a big bowl of custard.”

“Your Honour, I would ask that the court be lenient,” mimicked TheBusker, “and grant that the ice-cold custard be warmed a little and that perhaps it reach only as far as the knees.”

“And of course, the sole item on the menu in the land of custardy would be large servings of humble pie,” said OldRuin.

‘Naturally,’ said TheBusker.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

July 29, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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