Pupil pretensions

“You gotta love it,” said TheBusker. “Pupils and their little airs and graces. It’s almost as if the less important the barrister the more pompous they can be.”

“That’s certainly the case for OldSmoothie,” said BusyBody.

“So what have they been up to today?” asked TheVamp.

“I overheard one chastising another for not tying the pink ribbon around his brief in the correct way,” said TheBusker.

“I didn’t even know there was a correct way,” said TheCreep looking a little concerned that he might have missed such an important detail.

“Ah, you under-estimate the creativity which exists in the world of pupil paranoia,” said TheVamp.

“Anyway, the pupil was pretty much telling her friend that if she didn’t tie her briefs up properly she’d end up playing for Accrington Stanley,” said The Busker.

“I can think of a few chambers that match that description,” said BusyBody.

“All in a manner which suggested that she was passing on some huge state secret,” said TheBusker.

“I particularly like the start of April when the pupils are finally set free on their unsuspecting clients,” said TheVamp. “Finally they have their own cases tied in its own pink ribbon and you spot them ostentatiously tying up their papers on the tube.”

“And leaving the ribbon hanging out of their pockets when they go down the pub,” said BusyBody.

“As if this somehow screams ‘Look at me, I’m a barrister, don’t you know. A real0life, living, breathing barrister,'” said TheVamp.

“When no-one other than fellow barristers would even realise what it was,” added BusyBody.

“It’s funny. They walk around for that first month deluding themselves that they’re like some kind of legal rock star,” said TheVamp.

“Until they start to realise that the small car cases they’re doing in the likes of Slough and Harlow are never going to be practice for prosecuting war criminals in The Hague,” said OldSmoothie, “but are only ever going to lead to slightly bigger car cases in the same courts.”

“Oh, I think that might be to overstate your own career trajectory, wouldn’t you say?” said UpTights.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

July 22, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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