Bullying at court

“Sometimes, young man, you simply have to bully your opponent. Never forget to have that option on your back pocket.” It was OldSmoothie giving a lecture to one of the pupils today.

“I hardly think that’s the sort of thing you should be advising,” said BusyBody.

“That’s a bit rich coming from the Robing Room Rottweiler. Hectoring, finger-pointing, threatening. You’re as bad as anyone and don’t deny it.”

“I always prefer to be a little more subtle about it,” said Teflon. “Like maybe dropping into the conversation that you’re friends with the person with whom your opponent’s been having an affair.”

“Or insinuating some sort of professional misconduct,” said UpTights. “I’ve seen OldSmoothie mention the Bar Standards Board on many an occasion when he’s getting a little desperate for a settlement.”

“I always find that it unsettles an opponent simply by handing over a four inch thick bundle of case law at the door of court,” said TheCreep.

“Yes, a sight of your four inches would unsettle even the best of us,” said TheVamp.

“Better still, just ignoring them completely can sometimes do the trick,” said UpTights, looking over at OldSmoothie.

“I prefer picking on them in front of the judge,” said HeadofChambers. “Throw in a small suggestion that their submissions are verging on the disingenuous and they’ll be so furious at the insinuation that they won’t even spot you running away with the case.”

OldRuin smiled and said, “I’ve always found that good manners never go far wrong when dealing with opponents. Losing their confidence might be somewhat of a pyrrhic victory when you’re looking at a career which might span over fifty years.”

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan whose new novel is Law and Peace. For more information and to read past posts visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

May 27, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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