Wine is fine

“Did you see the article a while back which suggested that 15-24% of lawyers will suffer from alcoholism during their careers?” It was BusyBody in earnest.

“Down on when I was a pupil,” said OldSmoothie. “The kids of today I suppose. All working too hard.”

“Yes, in my day you either kept up with your pupilmaster on the red wine or you were out on your ear,” said HeadofChambers.

“That, or you were sent to a chancery set,” said OldSmoothie.

“But seriously,” said BusyBody. “It’s a terrible problem.”

“I agree,” said OldSmoothie. “There were certain vineyards that used to rely solely on the Middle Temple alone for their custom. Just think of the jobs which will have been lost.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure,” said TheVamp. “Not if you include the criminal bar, at least.”

“What is it about them which always leads back to drink?” said TheCreep.

“Character, soul, disappointment at the world,” said OldSmoothie.

“Nothing to do after court, more like,” said BusyBody. “Except chat up pupils in seedy wine bars, that is,” she added looking pointedly at OldSmoothie.

“For my part, I just drink to bring in work from solicitors,” said HeadClerk.

“Which is the main bit of your job,” said BusyBody.

“I only drink when things get very stressful,” said TheCreep.

“So that’ll be all the time then in your case,” said TheVamp.

“I do like a drink or two with an opponent when a case finishes,” said Teflon.

“Or five,” said UpTights.

“I drink to forget what I’ve done to my opponents,” said TheVamp.

“I drink to forget what I’ve done for my clients,” said OldSmoothie.

“I drink to forget what I haven’t done for my clients,” said SlipperySlope.

“I’m not worried about forgetting things these days,” said OldRuin. “I drink occasionally simply to raise a glass and to remember. Old friends, that is.”

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan whose new novel is Law and Peace. For more information and to read past posts visit Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

May 6, 2014 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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