Elephant test

‘Where’s the line between chatting to your client before court and coaching them?’ asked a pupil today in the clerks’ room.

‘Just don’t start giving them any answers,’ said TheVamp.

‘But if you suggest they read a witness statement that you know has been carefully drafted by the solicitor, aren’t you already doing that?’ he asked.

‘You certainly are if it’s been drafted by SlipperySlope,’ said BusyBody.

‘It all comes down to the elephant test,’ said OldSmoothie. ‘It might be hard to describe but you’ll know it when you see it.’

‘Or the tired old donkey test in your case,’ said UpTights.

‘And the withered old shrew test to you too,’ he replied.

Then to everyone’s astonishment the pupil piped up, ‘Oh do get over yourselves. I’ve only been here a few months and it’s already clear to me that you’re madly in love with each other. Just go and find a room and sort it out.’

Which certainly shut them both up.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

August 20, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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