UpTights’ suppositories

UpTights and OldSmoothie were negotiating a case today whilst they were in the clerks’ room and half of chambers seemed to be there to hear it. At one point UpTights said: “Well, I suppose…”

OldSmoothie immediately rolled his eyes and interrupted with: “Oh don’t give me another one of your long rambling ‘supposes’ UpTights.”

Then TheVamp made a stage whisper to the rest of the room: “He calls them her suppositories.”

“Why’s that?” asked one of the pupils innocently.

“Because there’s precisely one place I think she should stick her little theories and all I’ll say is that it’s somewhere the sun doesn’t shine,” said OldSmoothie.

“Which complements exactly what UpTights calls your own verbal pirouettes,” said BusyBody sticking up for her friend. “I mean, we all know that you talk out of that big fat behind of yours even if most of it’s just hot air. But on the occasions when you get a little over-excited and exceed even your usual capacity for crassness, they’re marked down as ‘OldSmoothie’s embarrassing little follow-throughs’.”

“This morning being a case in point,” said UpTights as she whisked past him and out of the door.

July 7, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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