Animal magic

TheBuskerTheBusker’s dog Leading Counsel was in chambers again yesterday afternoon and he was showing off his new tricks. “I’m preparing him for coming along to court and assisting me as a visual aid,” he said. “I’m only going to wheel him out for the hopeless cases since I don’t think it would be fair on my opponents the rest of the time. I mean, it’s absolutely guaranteed to distract the judge and jury and I hardly think they’re going to dislike it.”
“Why? What can he do that’s so special?” asked BusyBody curiously.
“Oh, nothing too special really. It’s just that I’ve tailored his usual exercises to the law as is only appropriate. So, for example, whenever I even mention the words ‘cross-examination’, he simply rolls over,” and sure enough, the dog was on his back with his paws straight up in the air.
“Then,” he continued, “if I say, ‘settlement’ he starts begging on his hind legs.” Once again the dog was there.
“If I want to start making a point and use the word ‘terrible’ I get a slight growl,” (which did indeed follow), “and if I step it up a notch to ‘outrageous’ I get a little bark,” and sure enough there was a bark to which even the grumpiest of opponents would have found it difficult to object. “But whilst he will always respond when told to ‘shake hands’ he will steadfastly ignore the command to ‘shake hands with counsel’. And if all of that’s not sufficient to win the day then I’ve also got him a white collar with barristers’ bands falling down the front.”

The irony is that whilst TheBusker’s smile gave away that he was joking about actually taking him to court, I can’t see him going to all this trouble without actually doing it, simply for the story value.

November 24, 2015 · Tim Kevan · 2 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

2 Responses

  1. James Lampert - April 7, 2009

    Brings a whole new meaning to being charged with dogging!

  2. Marcie Grauberger - April 7, 2009

    Maybe TheBusker can train Leading Counsel to leave a little personal message on TopFirst’s briefs…