Tempus fugit

We had a chambers meeting today and the funniest thing happened – there was a watch off. It happened like a kind of ostentatious Mexican wave which started with TheCreep producing his brand-spanking new Tag Heuer watch and planting it down on the conference table in front of him so that, as he mumbled in self-justification, he could ‘keep an eye on the time’. Unfortunately he was sitting next to OldSmoothie who, not to be outdone, pulled out his iPad like it was some kind of light sabre and then clicked it into ‘clock’ mode and sat it in front of him like some sort of Phallic object which of course made TheVamp whisper loudly to TheBusker, ‘You know what they say…’ without needing actually to say more.
Despite this, HeadofChambers’ watch-vanity was such that he thought he’d bring this little game to an end with a kind of ‘that’s not a watch, this is a watch’ look at TheCreep as he produced his big fat Omega.
This act of arrogance irritated UpTights so much that she clearly felt the need to put him back in his box by producing a small but extremely sparkly diamond-encrusted Rolex which she laid out on the table without even a look in his direction.
Unfortunately by this point, silliness was starting to take hold and everyone looked expectantly at TheBusker who was next in line. He didn’t disappoint when he produced an old school Mickey Mouse watch which looked like it had been delivered straight from the 1970s. OldRuin smiled at this and with a self-deprecating look took off a lovely multi-coloured Swatch which I remember him proudly telling me had been given to him for his birthday by one of his grandchildren.
Finally it came around to TheVamp who had been busily scribbling on a sheet of paper and now tore a small line down the middle and then folded it up before exhibiting her brand new paper sun dial. She then looked at BusyBody who with perfect timing asked: “Er, does anyone have the time?”

June 30, 2010 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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