The People’s Barrister
OldSmoothieâs trying every way possible to get the Tories to make him one of their new peers and somehow he thought his attempt at a publicity stunt today would help. You see, he feels that despite his inherent brilliance as an advocate and his incredibly successful career (not), he still doesnât get the attention he deserves (actually, he does). But not to be bowed by the put-downs of the rest of chambers today he bounced (flounced) into chambers like some manic child whoâd eaten too many brightly coloured sweets full of strange chemicals.
âIâm going to become the peopleâs barrister,â he declared with a grand wave of his hand as he entered the clerks room.
HeadClerk raised his eyebrows and commented in a stage whisper: âOuch. They must be trying him on a new combination of drugs.â
Then when OldSmoothie looked at him impatiently he enquired politely: âAnd how are you going to do that OldSmoothie?â
Still almost breathless with excitement he said: âMy new robes, thatâs how. Want to see?â
Then, without waiting for an answer he scuttled into the conference room next door. By this time, he had somewhat of an audience including several clients who had arrived to meet their barristers. After about a minute he re-appeared in a white gown emblazoned with the red cross of St George and then on top he had his little horse hair wig which heâd also painted with the same insignia.
âMore Lord Sutch than Lord Smoothie wouldnât you say,â said BusyBody who had been watching his performance.
âOh, you can mock now but I think youâll change your tune when you see how patriotic a jury can be during a World Cup.â
To which HeadClerk replied almost apologetically: âEr, OldSmoothie, may I introduce you to your client today?â
OldSmoothie turned around and moved towards the man next to HeadClerk with his hand extended in greeting and a big smug cheesey grin.
âOldSmoothie, this is Heinrich. Heâs from Germany.â