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Year 3, week 30: professional misconduct guidelines

There was a big discussion going on in the pub on Friday evening about the new sentencing guidelines for professional misconduct that have been issued by the Bar Standards Board (here).
“Never needed guidelines before you know. Not when we regulated ourselves.” It was HeadofChambers.
“Just kind of looked after your own you mean?” snorted BusyBody.
“I wouldn’t mock, my dear,” he replied. “You might be grateful for that kind of help some day.”
“I do wonder if you had anything to do with their drafting though. I mean, a reprimand and a low level fine for drink driving,” she said, making reference to HeadofChambers’ notorious past misdemeanour.
“That’s a bit below the belt for a Friday evening,” said TheBusker, trying to smooth things over.
“Don’t worry,” said HeadofChambers. “I can look after myself, even at my great old age.  I have to say that I was rather surprised at the sanction for drug possession of any class whatsoever being merely a reprimand and fine. Though perhaps that’s to appease a few at the more junior end of our illustrious profession?” he smiled mischievously at BusyBody.
“I see there’s an offence of ‘holding out’ said OldSmoothie. “Not something I’ve ever known you to be guilty of,” he said turning to TheVamp.
She laughed and replied with: “That’s nothing. I’m just glad they finally recognised ‘late withdrawal’ as an act of professional misconduct.” She paused before turning to TheCreep who was fag-ending just behind her and added: “Hey MrCreepyWeepy. I’d consider late withdrawal to be a seriously inadequate professional service. Wouldn’t you agree?”

April 20, 2009 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
Posted in: Uncategorized

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• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
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• BigMouth

  
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• BusyBody

  
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• TopFirst

  
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• BabyBarista

  
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• OldFatherTime

  
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• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets