KillingTime

JetSetWent out for a drink last night with a friend from college who is now working for a very posh city solicitors firm.  Somewhat gratified to hear that their standards are no higher than the ditch that is personal injury law.

‘It’s easy BabyB.  Our target is 2,400 hours a year and I had already hit it by mid-November.  You see, the thing is, solicitors measure their time in units of six minutes.  So even if a letter, telephone call or simply looking at the papers only takes 10 seconds, you can still bill one unit.’

‘Right…’ I said slowly, thinking that I could see where this was going.

‘Yes.  So all you need to do is have ten files on the go at once.  Then move from file to file during the day.  I tend to manage to bill six minutes for every minute I work on this system.  Works out at forty-eight hour days.  You don’t need many of them.’

Well, quite.  Kind of reminds me of that joke about the lawyer who died aged forty and was standing before Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

‘I’ll sue.  I am only forty.  I don’t smoke, I don’t drink and I take regular exercise.  There’s no way I should be dead.’

That is, until Saint Peter goes off and checks the records and replies,

‘Well, according to your times sheets, you should be a hundred and thirty years old already.’

November 9, 2016 · Tim Kevan · 5 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

5 Responses

  1. danvers - December 5, 2007

    Nice idea but think how long it would take your friend to complete his time sheets – 480 entries a day! He’d be spending more time doing that than any real work.

  2. Martin - December 6, 2007

    And sadly enough, most of the firms i know have fail-safes on their billing systems to prevent you going over 24 hours in a day- it tends to look a bit embarrasing, especially if you are actually just working for one client that entire day…
    Best gig in the buisness is, of course, driving the client to court. Offering to ‘put the client at ease’ and ‘save them the petrol’ adds up to over four hours chargable time (two hours there, two hours back).

  3. TheScottishBoomerang - December 6, 2007

    My Professional Responsibility prof told us that if we ever did this, we would be (1) struck off (2) burn in the fires of hell for all eternity.
    I think its a nice idea, but the likes of BabyB and his chums will probably get into Heaven on damn technicality.

  4. Uncivil Serpent - December 7, 2007

    Danvers, most city firms record the time it takes to fill in time recording sheets. Usually under essential admin… £50 per hour for associates sound about right anyone?

  5. Sarah - December 7, 2007

    Of course BabyB the only thing you can ever be certain of in life is that everyone will die…. just nobody knows when!