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Just a small point

Today ClichéClanger my solicitor rang me “just to check a small point” about one of his cases. I always worry when a solicitor says that because it generally means two things. First, it is probably not a small point or they wouldn’t be ringing counsel in the first place. As OldSmoothie’s inverse rule as to sets of papers says: the smaller they come the longer they’ll take.

Second, by “small point” they actually mean, “please will you do this work for free”. I often wonder what my local supermarket would say if I went in and I said: “Hi there. I use you quite a lot despite all the competition around so do you think you could give me this week’s groceries for free please?”

September 7, 2016 · Tim Kevan · 3 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

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• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

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• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
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• BigMouth

  
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• BabyBarista

  
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• TheVamp

  
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• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets