Smutton

“Wake up and smell the cash, BabyB.” It was SlipperySlope and he was as full of himself as ever as I passed him in chambers this morning. He then introduced me to an extremely glamorous partner in his firm who I can only call Smutton. Not merely because she was dressing a little like TheVamp despite being probably twenty-five years older but also because almost everything she does and says seems to be dripping with innuendo. Think perhaps a filthy version of Sarah Palin or maybe a panellist of Loose Women. Kind of brassy to UpTights’s classy (yes, she even makes UpTights seem classy!) But at the same time carried with a self-assurance and humour that despite everything is well, I’m a little ashamed to admit, kind of sexy. Anyway, today she stared at me in a way which made me want to hide in a corner.

“Ah, so this is the famous little BabyB,’ she purred. ‘I hear you’re doing a little pro bono for us.” I hardly need say that her eyes looked me up and down as she paused on the word bono.

“Er, actually, er, it’s on a no-win no-fee,” I stammered.

“Never mind, BabyB. You know, I’ve always been pro bono myself.”

January 12, 2016 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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