Never say what you actually mean

One of the mini-pupils crept into chambers tea today and innocently asked UpTights what was the secret to being a successful barrister.

“It all boils down to the art of the disingenuous comment.” She smiled at the pupil and added, “With the greatest of respect, naturally.”

“I like: Your Lordship is, as always, ahead of me in this matter,” said BusyBody.

“Or: My Learned friend has earned himself quite a reputation in this area of law,” said TheVamp.

“This victory had nothing to do with my hard work as your junior and everything to do with your brilliant advocacy,” said TheCreep in a rare show of honesty.

“I really can’t believe I’m worth the ludicrous sums they pay me these days,” said HeadofChambers.

“My huge fees are simply down to the genius negotiating skills of my clerk,” said
OldSmoothie looking over at HeadClerk with a smile.

To which HeadClerk replied, “Sir is worth every penny.”

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan whose new novel is Law and Peace. For more information visit and to read past posts visit Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

October 29, 2013 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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