What makes a good barrister

“I see the Bar Standards Board are proposing an aptitude test for prospective barristers,” said TheCreep. “Do you think we need to introduce something similar for pupillage applications?”

“Yeah, right,” said BusyBody. “As if a test could determine someone’s future ability in court.”

“Unless of course you could devise an objective test for charisma and charm,” said OldSmoothie.

“Sneakiness,” said TheVamp.

“Or an ability to twist the truth into whatever you want it to be,” said Teflon.

“As well as being able to bully your opponent into submission,” said OldSmoothie

“Or a judge for that matter,” said UpTights.

“I think the only reliable test is to pit the candidates against each other in a real life setting in which they have to use all their wits to knock out the competition,” said HeadofChambers.

“Over a prolonged period of time in which in order to win you really do have to prove yourself on every level,” said BusyBody.

“Where you can assess skills such as brown-nosing,” said TheVamp looking at TheCreep

“And back-stabbing,” said BusyBody.

“Learning to keep your mouth shut at the right time,” said Teflon.

“Not forgetting the all important photocopying skills,” said UpTights.

“In other words pupillage is the perfect aptitude test for being a barrister,” said TheBusker.

“And of course the most important thing of all in pupillage,”said OldRuin, “is making a decent cup of coffee.”

“So in actual fact, all the Bar Standards Board should really be testing is coffee-making skills,” said TheVamp.

“Quite so,” said OldSmoothie.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan whose new novel is Law and Peace. For more information and to read past posts visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

August 16, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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