BabyBarista

A worm's eye view of the English Bar

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Archive for August, 2012

What’s the story?

“It’s all about controlling the narrative,” said TheCreep today. “Ah, I see it must be mini-pupil season,” said TheVamp, “and once more TheCreep has his only captive audience of the year.” TheCreep ignored her. “You’re either a leader or a follower. That’s the only distinction…” BusyBody smirked at the irony of TheCreep, of all people, […]

August 9, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

Spectators on the sidelines

“Have you heard the news?” said TheCreep with breathless excitement today. “What? You’ve finally won a case?” said BudyBody. “No, OldSmoothie has been instructed by a silver-medal winning Olympian to challenge the result.” He paused and then added, “He’s going for gold.” “Er, I think you’ll find that’s not actually true,” said TheVamp. “His client […]

August 4, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets