Tall poppy syndrome

TheCreep strode into chambers today and with a wave of his arm declared, “My problem is that I’ve always suffered from tall poppy syndrome.”

“What even though you’re far from being either tall or a poppy?” said BusyBody.

“That’s exactly my point,” said TheCreep. “All these snide remarks and back-biting. They’re actually just jealousy because I happen to stick my head above the parapet.”

“Oh, poor CreepyWeepy,” said TheVamp. “Even on the tips of your toes your head still wouldn’t reach the parapet never mind even get to think about rising above it.”

“They’re metaphors,” said TheCreep starting to look irritating.

“And that somehow makes what you’re saying any less innaccurate?” said BusyBody.

He raised his hand. “It’s all the green-eyed monster. Just because I spend time and effort nurturing contacts with senior members of the bar…”

“That is, if you count humping their legs whenever they enter the room,” said BusyBody.

“I rise above your pettiness,” he said.

“Just been to a visit to your life coach by any chance?” asked Teflon.

“So what if I have?” said TheCreep.

“You know, if you really wanted to get on,” said TheVamp, “you’d stop creeping around the big beasts and instead start standing up to them for once. I can’t promise they’ll like you any more but they might at least start giving you a little more respect.”

“It’s true,” said TheBusker. “Nobody wants a barrister that’s afraid of offending the people that matter since they tend to be the ones that’ll roll over to a bullying judge or opponent.”

“In other words stop your snivelling and weaselling around and for once in your life grow some,” said BusyBody with a flourish.

“I’ve always thought that to be somewhat of an interesting phrase,” said OldRuin, “particularly given the physical impossibility of doing so.”

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan whose new novel is Law and Peace. For more information and to read past posts visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

July 2, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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