BabyBarista

A worm's eye view of the English Bar

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Archive for July, 2012

The lawyer in your head

“Sometimes I hate being a lawyer,” said UpTights. “Sometimes?” smiled TheVamp. “That’s not fair. You love it, you hate it. But what I really can’t stand is when the little lawyer in your head starts crying blue murder just because you’ve spotted an inconsistency in what someone has just said to you.” “I know what […]

July 30, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

Monday morning with Alex Williams’ cartoons, 30th July 2012

  This cartoon is by Alex Williams who draws the Queen’s Counsel cartoons for The Times and in numerous books including Lawyers Uncovered. He also does the cartoons for BabyBarista and has had two more excellent books published recently: 101 Ways to Leave the Law and 101 Uses for a Useless Banker. He offers almost all of his cartoons for sale at £120 for originals and £40 […]

July 30, 2012 · babybarista · Comments Closed
Posted in: Uncategorized

Fast-track injustice

“I see the government’s talking about introducing fast-track justice,” said OldSmoothie today. “Fast-track injustice more like,” said BusyBody. “Yes, in my experience speedy justice is a contradiction in terms,” said HeadofChambers. “Just like secret justice,” said BusyBody. “Sounds like something straight out of Kafka.” “Enough to make Lady Justice weep,” said OldSmoothie. “The whole point […]

July 25, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

Dirty tricks at court

TheCreep was fuming as he arrived back into chambers today. “I don’t believe it,” he said. “I thought I’d joined an honourable profession but today I seriously began to doubt that that was the case.” “Honourable? Lawyers?” said OldSmoothie. “Greedy, tricky, maybe. But honourable, really?” “Has someone been bullying you again MrCweepyWeepy,” teased TheVamp. “It […]

July 16, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

Higgs boson for lawyers

“Don’t you just love all this chat about the Higgs boson particle?” said TheBusker today. “Apparently, it’s the invisible glue which keeps the whole universe together,” said TheCreep. “I’d say that the invisible glue which keeps the whole universe together is in fact the legalese dreamt up by our esteemed profession,” said UpTights. “Yes, a […]

July 13, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

I love the law

“I love the law,” said UpTights today. “Makes me skip to work in the morning. Gives meaning to my life. Colour to my soul. Feeds me from the first to the last. You know, without the law, I am nothing.” “You might joke,” said OldSmoothie. “But it’s what you do so just get over yourself.” […]

July 9, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets