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Chambers were discussing one of the candidates for a third six pupillage today.
“He’s by far and away the best-qualified of the applicants,” said OldSmoothie.
“I completely agree,” said UpTights. “But we do have one more issue to check over.” She looked over at HeadClerk. “What are the results of our social media vetting?”
“Er, well…” HeadClerk squirmed awkwardly.
“What?” asked UpTights. “Come on now, let’s have it.”
“Well, let me perhaps show you instead,” said HeadClerk.
He busied himself with plugging the computer into the overhead projector. He then theatrically pressed another button and a Facebook page came to light.
“As you can see, this candidate failed to adjust his privacy settings so that these pictures are there for everyone to see,” said HeadClerk.
“And what’s the big problem?” asked TheVamp.
“Well, if we flick back to a photo from a few years ago when he was evidently at university, you will find that…”
A picture came up on the screen of the candidate inhaling from a large cylindrically-shaped object.
“What is it?” asked OldSmoothie. “Is it some form of old-fashioned asthma inhaler?”
Er, well, you might say that,” said TheVamp. “Although I think you’ll find it’s commonly known as a bong.”
“A what?” said OldSmoothie.
“Used for smoking cannabis.”
“Oh.”
“Come on,” said BusyBody. “This is a complete invasion of his privacy. We have no permission to be looking at these photos.”
“Er, yes, quite,” said HeadofChambers looking shifty. “Although since the cat, as they say, is now out of the bag, what are we supposed to do?”
“Ignore it, that’s what,” said BusyBody. “And anyway, whatever happened to that old principle of innocent until proven guilty?”
OldSmoothie guffawed. “Oh do be quiet and leave the theatrics for the juries BusyBody.”
“But there’s absolutely no proof that he’s inhaling cannabis,” she replied.
“Er, so what would you suggest he is inhaling?” said OldSmoothie.
“And even if it was, surely we should be forgiving of such minor indiscretions of youth,” she persisted.
“The real problem we have here,” said OldSmoothie, “is to decide whether or not he is now reformed.”
“How on earth are we going to know that?” asked TheVamp.
“Well, let’s take a flick through his more recent photos,” said HeadClerk.
He did so before HeadofChambers shouted, “Stop!”
“What is it?” asked OldSmoothie as they all stared at a more recent photo of him in his barrister garb and clearly sitting outside of court. “That doesn’t tell us anything at all.”
“Zoom in a little if you can,” said HeadofChambers.
HeadClerk did so.
“A little to the left…there. Well, that decides it for me,” said HeadofChambers sitting back.
“Fair enough,” said OldSmoothie. “I think we can officially now say that he’s back on the right side of the tracks.”
“But what is it?” asked TheCreep, clearly thinking that he was missing out on something himself.
“I wouldn’t expect you to notice,” said OldSmoothie, “but if you look closely, you’ll see that that’s a print-off of a case from the ICLR online that he’s carrying there.”
Everyone peered again.
“It’s good enough for me,” said UpTights. “If he’s got the sense to use the ICLR then I’m happy to believe he’s got the sense to have turned his back on his old ways.”
“Alleged old ways,” added BusyBody still smarting at the injustice of it all.

March 28, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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