Sponsored blog post: Pupillage and How to Survive It

“You just can’t win in pupillage,” said one of the pupils today. “Wherever you turn you’re being shot down. I mean if you try too hard it’s seen as overly earnest and if you try too little then it’s slipshod and lazy.”

“I know,” replied another. “It’s the same with talking to other members of chambers. Too little and you have no personality and too much and you’re seen as arrogant and bumptious.”

Overhearing their discussion, OldSmoothie waded in. “There is only one secret to surviving pupillage,” he said. The pupils looked over with bated breath. “It is that you treat your pupilmaster with utmost servility. Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is too small since if you get them onside then they’ll do the heavy lifting of winning over the rest of chambers.”

“But what does that mean in practise?” asked one.

“First up, coffee. I’d strongly recommend investing in one of those expensive coffee makers and then nonchalantly suggest that perhaps you might bring it into chambers. Even better, find out what brand of coffee your pupilmaster likes before you even make the purchase. For my part, I can think of no better way of spending a scholarship from your Inn or chambers pupillage award than this.”

“Then there’s the stash of chocolate biscuits,” said TheVamp. “I always used to bring in a new packet every couple of days and offer them up with every cup of coffee I made.”

“Remember to shine your shoes,” said BusyBody.

“More like stare at your shoes,” said HeadofChambers.

“Make sure your shirts have double cuffs,” said TheCreep, “and that your suit cuffs have four buttons.”

“Only use button down braces,” said Teflon.

“Never bother your pupilmaster with dissenting judgments,” said UpTights. “Unless of course you’re in the Supreme Court,” she added.

“Above all,” said OldSmoothie, “too few pupils remember that if they want to win over other members of chambers then they should be seen and not heard. If in doubt, do not say a word. Never forget that ignorance in silence can often be mistaken for wisdom but ignorance out loud can never be either mistaken or taken back once it’s popped out.”

“Oh, and don’t forget,” said TheBusker. “if you really want to impress your pupilmaster, then make sure you have access to the ICLR online. That’ll show him or her that you’re not only serious about the great profession you have entered but also that you’re on the ball and likely to be impressing judges in the future.”

“Funnily enough,” said one of the pupils, “I’ve already heard that the ICLR are giving away a ‘How to survive pupillage kit’ at the forthcoming Pupillage Fair on Saturday 3rd March at Lincoln’s Inn. I’m certainly intending to pick one up then.”

January 31, 2012 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Posted in: ICLR, Sponsored