Sponsored blog post: The ICLR online – does size matter?

My opponent today was TheCreep and he rocked up at court with about fifteen different books of random obscure law reports. He then proceeded to tell the judge, “I’ve even brought the originals of my large bundle of cases,” emphasising the word ‘large’.
We were in front of JudgeJewellery who most male members of the junior bar have had a crush on at one time or another. Today she looked decidedly unimpressed at TheCreep and turned to me saying, “Mr BabyBarista, do you have any authorities to hand up?”
I had one, a print-off from the ICLR online.
The Creep stood up. “Your Honour, my learned friend doesn’t appear to be taking this hearing at all seriously. Perhaps it’s becuase it’s not his usual small claims track case,” empasising the word ‘small’, “and instead one of a little more size,” this time stressing the word ‘size’.
Now as a matter of background it’s perhaps worth explaining that TheCreep is of a shorter staure than average. Not something out of the ordinary and definitely not a big deal (in either sense of the word). But it is sadly, something of which he himself seems to be all too painfully aware. Which perhaps helps to explain what the judge said next. “MrCreep, you have produced fifteen obscure hard copy law reports and Mr BabyBarista has produced one small print-off from the ICLR online.”
“Exactly, Your Honour,” interrupted TheCreep.
The judge looked even more unimpressed. “If you’d bothered to look, young man, you’d have seen that that single case over-turned your whole line of authorities in one fell swoop.” She then put on her most patronising smile before adding, “I hope MrCreep that that you will at least find it reassuring to note that in this court size really doesn’t matter and it’s most definitely what you do with it that counts.”

November 23, 2011 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Posted in: ICLR, Sponsored