BabyBarista

A worm's eye view of the English Bar

• Home
• Privacy Policy

Abolishing QCs

“I hear the QC appointments are due out at the beginning of March,” said TheCreep at chambers tea yesterday.

“Do you think they’ll finally take sympathy on UpTights?” said OldSmoothie.

“It’s about time,” said BusyBody. “She’s been applying for years.”

“I’ve always thought there’s something deeply unattractive and anti-competitive about a self-employed professional’s earning power being determined by some committee or other rather than by the market,” said TheBusker. “Don’t you think it’s about time we abolish such a dated and artificial distinction?”

“Or maybe we could just abolish all QCs,’ smiled BusyBody looking over at OldSmoothie.

“But it’s a necessary and highly respected quality mark,” said OldSmoothie.

“Yes, and my what quality you are,” said BusyBody sarcastically.

“And then once you’re made a QC, you have it for life,” said TheBusker.

“I’ve heard that there’s a lot of QCs who actually lose income when they take silk,” said TheCreep.

“That’s right,’ said TheBusker. ‘And then they’re not even allowed to un-QC themselves and go back their junior practises, either.”

“There’s one QC who we always used the initials to spell Quite Cute”, said TheVamp.

“Or Questionable Counsel,” said BusyBody.

“Quite Clever,” said TheBusker.

“Or in OldSmoothie’s case,’ said BusyBody, ‘Quite a…”

“…Chap, naturally,” interrupted TheVamp.

Postscript
The list of newly appointed Queen’s Counsel can now be found here.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

March 1, 2011 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Tags: Article, BabyBarista, Blogposts, Law, The BabyBarista blog Â· Posted in: Uncategorized

• « Previous post
• Next post »

• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets