Year 3, week 49: Oh, yes, yes, yes

Today was the day TheBusker had been planning for over a year. He’s been especially training his dog for a court appearance and this was it and I went along to watch. It was a relatively small theft case although big enough for a jury trial. By all accounts his client was definitely guilty and so was grateful for anything which came his way, even the DogCard.

Well, it all went to plan at the start. The client was led by the dog through the security gates wearing sunglasses suggesting (without actually saying so) that the dog was helping to guide him. Then into court where the dog sat on the client’s lap and it was noticeable that he had a mini barrister’s winged collar and bands around his neck. The case had been specifically picked as the judge was a drinking buddy of TheBusker and so didn’t challenge the canine presence in his court.

Then when TheBusker started making points in cross-examination the dog sat bolt upright and looked at the jury and nodded his head like the Churchill dog on the TV adverts which says: “Oh, yes, yes, yes.” But when his opponent started speaking the dog’s head went down, his ears dropped and best of all his head shook in seeming disagreement as if to say: “Oh, no, no, no.” All of which meant that the plan was proceeding splendidly and the jury were charmed.

That is until TheBusker got up to give his closing speech and the dog got confused and having sat up on cue then dropped his head so low he would have made even Graham Taylor when he was England manager look optimistic. All of which was exacerbated further when he started slowly shaking his head in what looked like disappointment. The judge by this point cast a wry “never work with animals” look at TheBusker who simply went with the flow and shrugged his shoulders at the jury in a kind of “aw shucks” sort of way.

But just when all seemed to be lost it became apparent that the dog’s failure to toe the party line of innocence only got the jury smiling more and it was almost no time at all before they returned with a verdict. As the foreman said “Not Guilty” the rest of the jury smiled first at TheBusker and then at the dog who for the first time in a while nodded his head again in an “Oh, yes, yes yes” kind of way.

All of which made me wonder whether TheBusker had planned every bit of the performance which had unfolded. Double, triple, even quadruple bluffs. Whoever really knows when it comes to TheBusker.

September 1, 2009 · Tim Kevan · 3 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

3 Responses

  1. John Woolman - September 2, 2009

    A technique used before – see the late George V Higgin’s novel “Penance for Jerry Kennedy”.

  2. leeds solicitors - September 16, 2009

    This is great advice, I will surely purchase the novel suggested by John Woolman.

  3. Michelle - March 7, 2010

    I suspect the Churchill dog or the great British Bulldog would be an absolute favourite of any court room! I suspect many a lawyer would also identify with all that legal barking 🙂