Year 3, week 38: what larks, eh pip?

There was a colourful menagerie of extremely high maintenance ladies gathered together in lunch today. You see, it was the Middle Temple Church Fete this evening and it was due to be opened by the actor Nigel Havers. When the news had first been announced there was a certain frisson of excitement from a fair number of the opposite sex. All of which left TheBusker being unable to resist leaving a note on BusyBody’s table ostensibly from the Middle Temple Treasury and addressed to OldSmoothie informing him that the distinguished thesp would also in fact be eating in Middle Temple Hall yesterday lunchtime “as well as mingling with fellow diners”. The letter ended emphasising the importance of keeping this information to himself “in order that the whole occasion may remain a discreet affair”.

True to form, BusyBody got to work and by half past twelve yesterday there was a queue of very well-dressed ladies standing at the entrance to the Hall looking each other up and down somewhat competitively. Having been tipped off by TheBusker, I went along and immediately spotted the double act of UpTights and TheVamp and then just nearby even QueenBee who had rather stylishly under-stated her own get up for the occasion. What I didn’t realise was that TheBusker had got OldSmoothie in on the act and also hired a Havers lookalike to turn up and have lunch with him. The fawning which followed was all captured on OldSmoothie’s video phone and has been playing on a continuous loop in the chambers conference room ever since.

Most wittering ramble of the day came from UpTights: “Nigel. May I call you Nigel? You know, I really can’t believe we haven’t met before. I’ve always been a fan of your work. Chariots of Fire and all that running on beaches. Wonderful stuff.  I even appeared in front of your Aunt Butler-Sloss, you know. And what a family you’re from what with a Lord Chancellor for a dad and of course your brother being a barrister and all. Oh what a shame you didn’t enter the profession. I might even have been your pupil. Though that would have probably been too great a loss to the arts. By the way, did I mention, I so loved you in Don’t Wait Up. Oh and of course The Charmer. And how very charming you are in real life, too…” And so it went on, and on…

As I left the Hall next to TheBusker, he turned to me and said in his best West Country accent: “What larks, eh Pip? What larks!”

June 17, 2009 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
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One Response

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