BabyBarista

A worm's eye view of the English Bar

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Archive for May, 2009

Author Boris Starling (Messiah, Storm etc) reviews BabyBarista book

Nice review of BabyBarista and the Art of War from Boris Starling, author of Messiah, Storm, Vodka, Messiah: "If you thought This Life, North Square or Sydney Carton gave barristers a bad name, you ain't seen nothing yet. Baby Barista is a worm's-eye view of the profession, and the angle is far from flattering. It […]

May 21, 2009 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Posted in: Uncategorized

Year 3, week 33: punishment of Sisyphus

“With all this talk about the credit crunch and calling in the debts, I think it’s about time we barristers stood up for ourselves. You know, I’m owed a hundred and fifty grand by one solicitors’ firm alone and it’s been outstanding for over a year.” It was HeadofChambers at chambers tea yesterday.“Yes, call in […]

May 19, 2009 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 3, week 32: flu party

Much chat over lunch in Hall yesterday after BusyBody happened to mention she’d been invited to a ‘swine flu party’ this weekend through a friend of a friend who knows somebody who apparently has the virus. After the predictable pig-related back-chat from OldSmoothie, she replied: “But it might actually be a good idea to get […]

May 15, 2009 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
Posted in: Uncategorized

Jeremy Vine reviews BabyBarista book

Nice review of BabyBarista and the Art of War from broadcaster and journalist Jeremy Vine: "With every turn of the page, my eyebrows moved slightly further up my forehead. There was me, assuming the junior bar was crammed with the serious and the high-minded, where the only trace of ambition is the politest nudge … […]

May 14, 2009 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Posted in: Uncategorized

Year 3, week 31: winner takes it all

According to one of the current crop of pupils, the strangest question she was asked at interview at one chambers last year was: “What’s your favourite Abba song?”Apparently she replied: “‘Take A Chance On Me’, followed closely by ‘Money, Money, Money’”.When they later offered her a pupillage she sent a note of reply stating: “Thank […]

May 1, 2009 · Tim Kevan · 9 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets