BabyBarista

A worm's eye view of the English Bar

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Archive for December, 2008

Happy Christmas!

A very happy Christmas to all the readers of this blog.  Thank you for reading this past year and I wish you the very best for 2009.

December 24, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 4 Comments
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Year 3, week 13: creative accounting

Everyone was busying in chambers getting their expenses ready for their accountants yesterday. Let’s just say that even at Christmas time, when it comes to HM Treasury the spirit is far from what you might call giving. There’s some pretty imaginative claims for expenses but I think one of the most extreme ones I’ve heard […]

December 23, 2008 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
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Year 3, week 12: ShiningWit

I went to a talk by a judge last night who rumour has it was forced to retire due to an “indiscretion” which luckily for him didn’t make it out into the public domain. HeadofChambeers was chairing the talk and it was well-known that he was no friend of this particular judge. He stood up […]

December 22, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 3 Comments
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Year 3, week 12: it wasn’t me

Along with the rest of the Bar, I’ve just received a letter from the Chief Executive of the Bar Council. It says: “In the early evening of Friday 12 December 2008, a break in occurred at the rear of the Bar Council offices…This resulted in damage to a number of offices and the theft of […]

December 18, 2008 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
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Year 3, week 12: SubPrimeStrikesBack.com

I’ve been thinking about what Claire said about sub-prime the other day and I think she’s onto something. Not just that it’s another way for the media to be rude about people with less-privileged backgrounds to themselves but more importantly about the potential for legal action which the whole sub-prime market really has. I mean, […]

December 17, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 3, week 11: tomorrow never comes

I went to a ‘Sub-Prime’ party with Claire the other night where the dress code was “bring the best of your worst or the worst of your best” which basically meant it was full of shiny tracksuits and very tattered old dinner jackets. “So what do all the papers mean when they keep describing things […]

December 15, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 3, week 11: brace yourself

I was at court yesterday and my expert witness was giving evidence which actually doesn’t happen that often in most of my small cases. The funny thing about the experts I’ve met so far is that without exception they all seem to have a small eccentricity that they play up almost as if it helps […]

December 12, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 3, week 11: a chilly 'un

OldSmoothie walked into ChambersTea yesterday on a post-court high with his ‘I love myself’ look even more prominent than usual. In order to collect his tea he had to pass in between UpTights and BusyBody who were deep in conversation. As he approached, UpTights said to BusyBody: “Do you have a Brazilian?” to which BusyBody […]

December 11, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 3, week 10: OldFilth

There’s a circuit judge I know who’s nickname is OldFilth and it has nothing to do with either the excellent book of that name or the ‘Failed In London, Try Hong Kong’ thing. Instead it’s due to his notorious reputation with the ladies. Such is the case that it has been said that there are […]

December 8, 2008 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
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Year 3, week 10: Badger’s back end

I was against TheVamp in court today. “Let’s play the word game, again, BabyB. It always brightens up a dull day in court. What word do you challenge me to get into the heaing without the judge noticing? Any animal, insect or bird.”TheVamp was looking more than a little worse for wear and the phrase […]

December 2, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 3 Comments
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• « Older Entries

• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets