Year 2, week 48: exposed

Well, what can I say about Friday evening? Quite a night and that’s for sure. First came TopFlirt at 7pm. Thankfully she turned up and for once was being all businesslike. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my mother BabyB. I have to admit that it was one of the reasons I originally contacted you. I hated what TopFirst was doing on the case and wanted to see if I could garner any idea from you as to how I could help.”
“But we hardly discussed the case,” I replied.
“That’s because I lost my bottle from the first time we met up. I didn’t expect to fancy you.”
“But why didn’t you just tell me about it? I would have kept your secret.”
“I really wanted to but that would have meant your working out why I contacted you in the first place and then not trusting me at all.”

Despite the tallness of the story and my added reservations due to her continuing relationship with TopFirst, I still believed what she was saying. “So what about WhistleBlower? Was that you?”
“It was. I read through TopFirst’s files and found a report on a lady who they were considering sacking due to the threats she’d already made internally to blow the whistle on the damaging effects of the wireless technology.”
“And you put her in touch with me?”
“So you can also put me back in touch with her now?”
“I can.”

She gave me the name and address.  Thankfully TopFlirt was in business mode that evening and so we parted with a kiss on the cheeks. As she left she said,
“You know, I’d still like to see you BabyB.”

After that it was time for a quick change into my Bat Man outfit out the back of a pub and then into a cab for UpTights’s house in Islington. I didn’t quite know what I was letting myself in for and felt just a little bit silly as I arrived. But silliness was more than overcome by a straightforward fear. Fear of UpTights the secual predator. Thoughts turned in particular to the black widow spider who notoriously devours her mate after sex. Then again, there was always the chance that I would find something out about the case and litigation, as TheBoss always used to say, is war. I was still undecided as to exactly what I would.

When I arrived there was a note on the door telling me to go straight in and make myself comfortable in the sitting room. Once inside there was another note saying the following: “Hello my little Super Hero. Why don’t you slip into these and then get yourself a drink as I perform my own Super Hero change.” Below the note was a pair of Bat Man boxer shorts.

Well, this was already getting weird to say the least but no harm in going this far I figured. Except that as I stood there glass in hand in my new boxer shorts, it was not UpTights who came down the stairs but instead TopFirst. “Wave to the camera BabyB,” he said as he took a bunch of photos of me standing there looking dumbfounded.
“What? How?”
“We’re in the middle of trial BabyB. You should have realised that I might actually be looking after UpTights’s mobile whilst she was on her feet.”


“As for this evening, all it took was for me to volunteer to house-sit UpTights’s cats during her weekend visit to Paris.”


“But hey. Look on the bright side. I’ve now got a nice picture to give to the press once my complaint against you is filed.  With that, he was out the house, camera in hand before I could even think of a reply.

August 27, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 8 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

8 Responses

  1. EDWARD - August 28, 2008

    really? blast. well more irritating than anything clever on the part of top first, Well at least we know he hasn’t really got anything, or a clue on what you are up to. Unless of course he happens to read times online…. then you’re

  2. Jonathan Sklan-Willis - August 28, 2008

    Uh oh.

  3. David - August 28, 2008

    Why not just do a Mosley?

  4. xavier bacon - August 28, 2008

    Just post him a set of Top Flirt’s pants.
    Get you off both hooks then.

  5. Zoe Robinson - August 29, 2008

    So TopFirst is now pretending to be another barrister in order to lure a member of the profession to a liaison in which he can be humiliated? That’s not exactly conduct that will look good when he has a complaint made against him.
    I’d take the notes he’s written and use them as evidence. It’s highly unlikely he would be able to mimic UpTight’s handwriting.

  6. MacG - August 29, 2008

    You need to get to TopFlirt before TopFirst does. If he starts bragging to her about having you over the metophorical barrel, it is going to blow your chances of getting TopFlirt over the literal barrel!

  7. Kate - August 29, 2008

    Pretend he’s been blackmailing you with the photo for a while and you refused to pay him. Get TopFlirt to back you up. Or at least get TopFlirt to give you access to his emails, then set your computer expert the task of emailing you and then back dating the ‘sent’ items. Either this will be enough for an injunction to prevent publication of the news article (POCA and all that); he’ll get a criminal record or at least disbarred.

  8. Rachael - May 14, 2009

    Is it wrong that I would quite like to see babyb in the batman boxers?