Year 2, week 39: OldWorrier

Boy oh boy, if you thought Worrier was exhausting, you should have met my opponent today who I’ll call OldWorrier.  He was about sixty and said he had been practising for about 15 years.  I found this out when he first called me up last week ‘to discuss the case.  Well, given that it was only worth £2,000 and it was your standard car case, I certainly didn’t expect to see the papers until late afternoon the day before and that would be if I was lucky.  I told him this and he seemed much put out and then went on to lecture me about the merits of his own case for about an hour, constantly asking me what I thought.  Well, what I thought was that he sounded more like a litigant in person than a barrister and so I looked him up and discovered that he was a head of chambers.  This seemed even more peculiar until I then found out that he was the only member of this chambers which appeared to be run from his bedsit in Brockley.  All a bit odd but nothing like as odd as his performance in court.  You know, it’s a peculiar thing about the bar that our performances are not assessed.  Most of the time this makes no odds but on occasions such as today you realise why it can allow the odd rogue to slip through the net.  Today, although neither his client nor he seemed to realise he lost the case due to complete and utter incompetence.  Without boring you with the facts, suffice it to say that if he’d asked my client even the most basic of questions he would have discovered that our case was hopeless.  Instead he simply harangued him with his terrible arguments.  Even the judge was biting his lip in embarrassment.  But you see, unless the client realises his barrister’s hopeless, no-one else is going to report him and so OldWorrier will have collected his brief fee and moved on to his next unknowing victim.

June 25, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Posted in: Uncategorized