Year 2, week 28: take the lot

Boy oh boy am I glad I’m not a solicitor. Had to spend the whole day at SlipperySlope&Co today and I’d say they probably put twice as many hours in as us barristers. That’s not to say that we don’t work hard or anything. It’s just that solicitors don’t seem to get any faffing time. They’re constantly being judged by how many hours they have billed. Not that it seems to worry the Slope family themselves who sometimes seem to manage to bill more hours in a day than the maximum twenty-four. Today was a good example. As I arrived, NurserySlope was talking to Slippery: “I’ve got the most annoying client in the world. Got slight brain damage which has turned him into a complete obsessive. To make it worse, ever since I mentioned he could claim for various types of care to help him with his injuries he’s been sending me hundreds of different emails with links to different crazy products which he says he would like. Must have had three hundred just last night.”
“That’s sounds like the perfect client to me,” replied Slippery. “Take the lot is what I say. One by one.”
“What do you mean?”
“Come on Nursery. You should have learnt by now. Each email counts as a unit. That means ten emails make an hour. A hundred emails ten hours.”
“Three hundred emails making…thirty hours.”
“Precisely.”
“Even if I don’t read them.”
“Now you’re getting it.”

They both smiled at each other and didn’t seem in the slightest bit worried that I was standing there overhearing the whole conversation. In fact it was almost as if Slippery was showing off in front of his visitor. After their conversation had finished, he sent me off to an office and gave me a reading list of web links about similar type medical negligence cases.  Which is where I am sitting as I write this post, bored, I have to admit, out of my mind.

April 9, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 3 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

3 Responses

  1. James - April 10, 2008

    Surely this isn’t allowed? Is it?

  2. abigail - April 11, 2008

    It is just 99% of solicitors who give the rest a bad name. However, it is possible to work honestly in the law. Look at Stephen Fry, a really lovely man, I am sure there are Lots of country solicitors like that.

  3. Lawyeratwork - April 11, 2008

    Incoming correspondence cannot be charged for unless it requires some action on the part of the solicitor. If Sliperyslope were acting on a conditional fee agreement, he would not be allowed the vast proportion of his costs.
    Even under any other funding arrangement, his costs would be slashed to pieces at a detailed assessment.
    Legal practice isn’t the free-for-all costs buffet that some lay people may imagine.