BabyBarista

A worm's eye view of the English Bar

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Archive for March, 2008

Year 2, week 26: OldSmoothie on board

A couple of weeks ago I overheard UpTights saying that her insurers might want to settle the claims I am running in the wireless claim on behalf of the Mad Old People or Moldies. In the meantime I’ve suggested to my solicitor, ClichéClanger, that we bring OldSmoothie into the case so that he can conduct […]

March 27, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Posted in: Uncategorized

Year 2, week 26: stroke of luck

Spent all day today going through SlipperySlope’s case from yesterday’s conference. Just as I was sitting trying to work out how to write an advice saying that this would be an outrageous undersettlement, I got a call from SlipperySlope himself. “Hold your horses for the moment, BabyB. I think we may have just got ourselves […]

March 26, 2008 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
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Year 2, week 26: SlipperySlope

Had a conference with a new solicitor today who I’ll call SlipperySlope. He’s got all the airs and graces of a country squire but a suit with stripes that would have done Arthur Daley proud. Maybe a legal version of Boycie from Only Fools and Horses might be a way of imagining him. Anyway, he […]

March 25, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 2, week 25: Maundy Thursday

I arrived at court today and waited for two hours with my client only to be told by the usher that the judge did not have time to hear us due to [ahem] “an emergency application”. We therefore went into court and had a chat with the judge as to when the case might next […]

March 20, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 2 Comments
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Year 2, week 25: taxing taxis

The judge for my case today, was to say the least, not at all happy with having to be at court today, “particularly given the good weather” according to the usher. His kids are all on holiday apparently and his wife had had an outing all planned. Ouch. It didn’t bode well for a smooth […]

March 19, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 5 Comments
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Year 2, week 24: paranoia

What do you do when you overhear something which you shouldn’t from the other side? That’s the dilemma I have today after having heard UpTights gossiping about my case over lunch in hall. To be fair, she obviously didn’t realise that I was sitting on the table just behind her but despite this her voice […]

March 13, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 3 Comments
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Year 2, week 24: wind of change

As I walked into the clerks room this morning, UpTights was looking slightly different but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. Then, just as I was about to leave OldSmoothie strolled in and immediately came out with: “Ah, UpTights. I see you’ve had you’re quarterly refill of botulism. I’ve always enjoyed the irony […]

March 11, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 2, week 23: carry on nursing

Well, it was quite a day yesterday as I found myself instructed on behalf of a nurse who was the subject of disciplinary proceedings before the Nursing and Midwifery Council. When I arrived, I introduced myself at the door to be told, “Ah, you’re here for the naughty nurses tribunal” before being directed to the […]

March 5, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
Posted in: Uncategorized

• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets