Archive for February, 2008

Year 2, week 22: gossip

If it doesn’t rain, it pours and after yesterday’s little episode with TopFlirt, I received a visit from a sultry-looking Vamp today.
“I hear you had lunch with TopFlirt yesterday,” she said matter of factly.
“How on earth did you know that,” I asked no doubt looking slightly flustered.
“Oh, you know…”
“No, I don’t know,” I pushed.
“Don’t worry, BabyB, your secret’s safe with me.”
“What secret?  Why would be worried?”
“Oh, you know…”

This was becoming just slightly annoying. “No, I don’t know what you’re trying to say at all.”
“Well, I heard TopFirst doesn’t like you very much. Got a bit of history with him it seems. Then you’re spotted having what by all accounts was an extremely flirty lunch with of all people TopFlirt. Enough to get people talking I’d say. But as I said, don’t worry, as you’re secret’s safe with me…”

With that, she waltzed out trying to look enigmatic but managing nothing more than what she is, a stirring, mischievous little minx.

February 28, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 2, week 22: TopFlirt

I had lunch with TopFirst’s fiancée today. Very n ice she is too, I have to say. Now, the only reason I was doing so was to keep up the pressure on TopFirst and to keep it at the forefront of his mind that I could release the tape of him and Ginny to his fiancée at any time. Anyway, despite the contrived nature of our meeting, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the lunch, not least because to my complete surprise, TopFirst’s fiancée spent the whole of lunch flirting, so much so that her nickname must now be TopFlirt. Which not only came as a complete surprise but has put me into all sorts of quandaries. First off, she’s extremely beautiful and bright and who wouldn’t be flattered by her attentions? Then there’s the fact that if anything were to happen it would be the ultimate getting one over on TopFirst (so to speak). On the other hand, she is my enemy’s fiancée and at least likely to be helping to spring a trap. Also, if anything were to happen between her and I which might break up the engagement, then my hold over TopFirst with the Ginny tape would be gone.

Despite all of these I am tempted to take her up on her offer of meeting up again.

February 27, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 8 Comments
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Year 2, week 21: see you there

Heard from TopFirst’s fiancée today. She’d accepted my request for friendship in FaceBook and then sent the following message:
“Hi BabyB. Really lovely to hear from you.  I don’t know what went on between you and TopFirst but I’m glad that you and I can remain friends, at least. As it happens, I’m actually down your neck of the woods next Wednesday. If you’re not in court do you fancy lunch?”

To which I of course replied simply: “Look forward to it. See you there x”

February 22, 2008 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
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Year 2, week 21: stand-off

Still no word from TopFirst after my email last week and I wonder whether to some extent we may have a Mexican stand-off. I can’t imagine he’s not plotting in some way or other though. He’s simply too arrogant not to be. Which is why I added TopFirst’s fiancée to my list of friends on FaceBook. In good old cold war tactics, I intend to keep him guessing as to whether I am quite prepared to press the nuclear button on him or not. Since we did actually meet a few times last year, I also added a note:
“Hi, hope all’s well with you and TopFirst and that you’re still enjoying life as a management consultant. Got to be more interesting than the cases they’re feeding me.  Anyway, just a note to say that if you’re ever in the area and at a loose end, do pop in for coffee.”

February 21, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 2, week 21: matter of honour

Boy oh boy.  Blagger’s case was a far more serious one than I was expecting.  It seems he’d told this local solicitor that he was an expert in property law and today he had to go to court on dispute over some land worth around half a million pounds.  Luckily, it’s just the first hearing and so they were only asking for directions.  Nevertheless, I told Blagger in no uncertain terms that he such get the heck out of the case whilst he could. It was all just too serious to be involved in, never mind just for a bet.

Except he was having none of it. “Matter of honour” and all that. Apparently his friend is attempting to do the same thing with surgery. Just doesn’t bear thinking about.  All inspired by that film, Catch Me If You Can. I told him that if he insisted on going through with it he should at the very least do some serious research into land law and gave him a starter text. I also gave him a few hints as to what he might say and what directions he could seek. Thankfully, he didn’t need the wig and gown for today as the last thing I’d want is for that to be turning up in evidence in a case against him some day.

Anyway, I got a call from him at lunchtime telling me that it had all gone swimmingly and that his solicitor is extremely pleased with how it went. So now I await the next hearing with, I have to say, more than a little concern. 

February 20, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 2, week 21: Blagger

What is it about barristers and dinners? There they are trying to get away from the fat cat image whilst at the same time perpetuating it with the requirement that in order to be a barrister you have to eat twelve dinners in one of their ancient halls. Now, for what it’s worth I happened to enjoy them although I do have to admit that they all kind of merge into a drunken haze a couple of years on.The only reason I mention it now is that this evening I am meeting up with a friend of mine who has taken all this eating of dinners to a new level. I’ll call him Blagger. He never did law and simply came as my guest to one of the big dinners at which he started joking that if he did a few more of these he could practise as a barrister.  In the end, I think he came to about five dinners. Anyway, since then the joke has started to get out of hand after one of his other friends challenged him as part of a bet to actually get himself a real client and to represent them pretending to be a barrister at court.

Well, it seems that somehow or other he has convinced a solicitor local to him that he is a barrister practising from a one man chambers (ie out of his house) and tomorrow has his first case in court. He wants to meet up with me for two reasons: to borrow my wig and gown and to get a little bit of advice on the case itself.

I just feel sorry for the innocent clients, whoever they may be.

February 19, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 6 Comments
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Year 2, week 21: an offer

Got a visit from UpTights this afternoon. “You know this whole thing is a complete try on?” she said.
“I presume you’re talking about my case against your lovely telecoms company?”
“Of course I am BabyB.  It’s not like you’re doing any other cases that are big enough to be against me, now is it?”

Ouch.  Trying for the patronising approach, I see. “You’re right there, UpTights.  Except I would have thought these were just straightforward personal injury actions which were well below your size of case…” I tailed off and looked at her. “Which did make me wonder why they had instructed someone as senior as yourself.  Suggests there’s more to this than meets the eye, wouldn’t you say?”

She was slightly thrown by her former pupil answering her back so directly and hesitated for a second before coming back with: “You know full well BabyB, that if you raise such provocative issues, these big companies will always take it seriously.”
“Unless of course,” I answered, “there was nothing to it at all.  In that case why would they waste their money?”

She could see she was getting nowhere.  “Enough of these puerile games.  I have an offer to make.  If you decide to withdraw your claims now, then my clients will not seek any costs.”
“But why should my clients be bothered by that when they have legal expenses insurance to cover them?”

To that, at this stage, there was no answer and after more bluffing and attempts at bullying, UpTights was on her way.

February 18, 2008 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Year 2, week 20: fire with fire

I decided to answer TopFirst’s threat today in robust fashion: “I don’t know what on earth you are talking about but I do not appreciate being threatened. Should I hear anything like this again I shall report it not only to the Bar Standards Board but also to the police for attempting to in some way both blackmail me and interfere with the course of justice. In the meantime, despite your unsavoury remarks, please pass my regards to your lovely fiancée.”

February 15, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 2 Comments
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Year 2, week 20: threats

Got an email from TopFirst today which read as follows: “By now you will have seen that I am instructed to defend your case against the telecoms company. This is just a private note to warn you that if I ever hear mention of the Ginny Tapes [the secret recording I made of him trying it on with a call girl, despite his fiancée], you will suffer far worse consequences than any with which you can threaten me.  I do not use these words lightly. Furthermore, you may wish to consider the merits of your whole case in the light of this information.”

What information exactly? I can hardly see what he would have to throw at me, particularly as the stuff with TheBoss from last year is already out in the open. Unless of course he knows about any of the other schemes I undertook to set up the other pupils.

February 13, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 6 Comments
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Year 2, week 20: new counsel

Today we received a defence in the geriatrigation case. The other side had requested a small extension in time in order to change their counsel and ClichéClanger and I were intrigued to see whose name would therefore appear on the pleadings. However, in my wildest dreams I didn’t expect to see the names which appeared. The first was that of UpTights which makes me wonder whether I should try and get OldSmoothie on board. However, for the moment I shall instead perhaps try and follow similar strategies to wind her up. However, it was the other name which was most surprising: that of TopFirst himself. That makes me extremely suspicious that these appointments are far from coincidence and that instead TopFirst is up to something sly. The difficulty will be in working out just what exactly.

I say, let the games begin.

February 11, 2008 · Tim Kevan · 2 Comments
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