Year 2, week 3: RobingRoomKiss

Well, a great bit of gossip today.  I haven’t mentioned them since the tenancy decision but both TopFirst and ThirdSix have both ended up squatting in chambers.  That’s not some kind of weird yoga position but instead means that they can continue to ply their trade from here until they find somewhere else.  Or until people’s patience with them runs out.  In the meantime, they were against each other on a case today.  I’d like to try and suggest that it was some sort of cruel twist of fate.  But it wasn’t.  The junior clerk, FanciesHimself (the one who had an affair with BusyBody) deliberately booked them in against each other knowing the recent history of animosity.  He had apparently been told by both sides that the case was already somewhat heated and that an aggressive approach would be needed.  And with those two on the billing, such an approach was guaranteed.  He even sent a couple of mini-pupils along just to act as supporters in the fight which would undoubtedly ensue.

Now when I say fight, I mean that somewhat metaphorically.  The ancient craft of advocacy would be taken to its limits.  Dry, legalistic put downs would be thrown from one side to the other and the judge would keep control with a slight raising of the eyebrows.  Which is not what happened at all.  No, the robbing room of Wandsworth County Court was the scene for a battle in a very real sense.  One in which TopFirst got a bloody nose and ThirdSix a black eye.  Which, as you might imagine, took some explaining both to their clients and  also the judge.  Hard to use the lamp-post as an excuse when there’s more than one alleged victim.

Apparently the best they came up with was that the lame excuse that there was a tripping hazard in the robing room.  But more importantly than all of that was the result.  OldSmoothie called both mini-pupils into chambers tea this afternoon and grilled them on every detail in front of half of the rest of chambers.  Despite being a rugby player, ThirdSix apparently fought like a girl.  Flapping around and punching like a march hare.  Against all the odds, it was TopFirst who really showed some talent, getting stuck in with a slightly mis-timed headbut.  Apparently his wig slipped as he made his move causing him to make a slightly mad connection which caused both his own nose bleed and ThirdSix’s black eye.

Forget the so-called GlasgowKiss.  It’s a move which is now being described as the RobingRoomKiss.

October 19, 2007 · Tim Kevan · 2 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

2 Responses

  1. BabyBFan - October 19, 2007

    …. and you dear Baby B didn’t have to do a thing.
    I also thought when I saw the title to the post that it was going to be a revelation about you and the Vamp! Maybe next time.

  2. BonaraLaw - October 21, 2007

    And I wondered why there was always a flack jacket lying ’round the robing room at the Crumlin Road Courthouse- assault from m’learned friends not the clients it seems.