Year 2, week 1: MoneyMatters

At lunch today I overheard OldSmoothie asking one of the pupils what area of law they wanted to do when they grew up.
“Criminal defence,” the answer came back.

“Oh, that’ll change,” replied OldSmoothie. “You’ll struggle to push it above two hundred doing that.”

“Two hundred pounds a day doesn’t sound so bad,” replied the pupil.

“Such a lot to learn young man. Two hundred grand and that’s in a year. It’s the absolute bare minimum if you’re going to maintain any sort of middle class life in this town. And that’s assuming your kids get scholarships and that you can put up with living in some grotty terrace in south London.”

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October 5, 2007 · Tim Kevan · 4 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

4 Responses

BonaraLaw - October 5, 2007

That is why I do my criminal defence in Belfast!
INFORMATION LAWYER - October 6, 2007

Does he mean 200K annual fee income?
By the time you’ve paid chambers and other professional expenses (say 50K) pension contributions (no employer’s pension scheme) and income replacement insurance (no employer’s sick pay to fall back on), and then paid tax on the remainder, it seems a bit less obscene.
Abigail - October 8, 2007

Is it time to update the “The story so far” side bar? “Babybarista is no longer making coffee. Having disposed of his fellow pupils by underhand means, and escaped disbarment by the skin of his teeth, he is now trying to make as much money as possible as a young barrister. Others may think that the trade is 99% hard work, and 1% luck, but he seeks to win cases by subterfuge.”
Edward - October 8, 2007

well when considering most people earn bout 18-20k it still seems obscene to me.
Oh I hope to earn that kind of money, i’d do it for 50k, How much do you reckon I’ll earn doing family law?

THE MAIN CHARACTERS
OldSmoothie
Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.
TheCreep
Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.
SlipperySlope

Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.
Smutton

Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.
NurserySlope

Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.
JetSet

A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.
ScandalMonger
Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons
BigMouth
Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum
BusyBody
A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.
TopFirst
BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil
BabyBarista
A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century
OldFatherTime
A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself
TheVamp
Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo
OldRuin
How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.
TheBusker
Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.
TheBoss
BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.
HeadClerk
The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.
PupilFodder
Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court
UpTights
BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.
JudgeJewellery
Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets

About this blog
BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar along with other associated characters. The stories he tells led to two novels published by Bloomsbury: Law and Disorder and Law and Peace. BabyBarista is written by Tim Kevan who practised at the Bar for ten years.
Cartoons by Alex Williams
The wonderful cartoons of the BabyBarista characters are by hotshot Hollywood animator Alex Williams who just happened to qualify as a barrister in his youth. He also who draws the Queen’s Counsel cartoons for The Times. For law jokes, law humour and law cartoons, see his website at www.qccartoon.com, where you can also buy books, gifts, original signed cartoon drawings and limited edition prints.
Law and Disorder
Law and Disorder is published by Bloomsbury.
Claire
BabyB’s best friend and a barrister in another chambers. Think Scully from X-Files.
HeadofChambers
Well-meaning, pompous and completely out of touch.
Vexatious
A litigant without a lawyer who the system has turned slightly potty
FanciesHimself
Second junior clerk who had a fling with BusyBody
Worrier
Did pupillage with BabyB and carriers the weight of the world on her shoulders. No detail is too small.
ClicheClanger
Solicitor with a colourful use of the English language and a penchant for quoting from films
ThirdSix
Third six pupil who was thrown into the mix half way through BabyB's pupillage
Publisher

Published by and copyright of Law Brief Publishing Ltd, company number 05966609, registered in the UK. Registered office address: 30 The Parks, Minehead, Somerset, TA24 8BT.