Day 246, week 50: PupilGeek

I think it might be all the stress of tenancy but the current crop of pupils around the bar really are outshining themselves in distraction techniques.  One of the more IT savvy of our group, let’s call himPupilGeek, recently started getting into the parallel online world which is SecondLife.  He’s clearly destined to be a billionaire rather than a barrister as he’s set up a virtual law firm and already has a whole bunch of clients and is even making what they call real world money.  He started by helping a couple of people who had disputes over virtual property.  Then having made a name for himself, he’s offered himself as an advocate for virtual disputes of any nature.  He’s got so much business that he’s had to employ someone in the real world to carry out most of it.  According to one of his friends he’s making thousands a month just by working evenings and weekends.  Don’t think it’ll be long before he retires from the Bar at this rate.

Anyway, one of the other great things started up by PupilGeek is an online gaming group for pupils.  It all started months ago when we were tied to our desks in the first six.  Always helped to while away the time whilst we were meant to be drafting some obscure document.  However, in the last few weeks it’s taken on a different complexion as he’s got us into a game which you can play from one of the new 3G phones.  It’s basically a shoot-em-up and part of the fun is that you’re only allowed to log in and play when you’re actually in court.  Usually, you’re the only one in the room playing but today I was against PupilGeek himself.  This made it easier in the sense that I didn’t have to hide it from him but much harder to hide the fact that something was going on from the judge.  Particularly when my opponent was somewhat excitable.  During the very long-winded judgment, we both had our phones hidden behind the lectern which sat on the desk in front of us, huddled over so as also to keep it from our clients.  Which would have worked were it not for my opponent calling me something it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to repeat here, never mind to have uttered in a court room, after I’d shot him good and proper.

“Mr PupilGeek.  I’ve been called many things in my time but never, in my whole career, have I ever, been addressed in such a manner.”

Poor PupilGeek.  Maybe the business world was about to beckon sooner than he had planned.

“Er, Your Honour.  Er.  I’m terribly sorry.”

“Sorry.  I should say so.  Sorry.  You’ll be sorry I assure you.”

Despite the fact that he was my opponent and I wanted to win the case, the injustice of the whole situation rankled even with my competitive spirit, particularly as I’d just shot PupilGeek’s brains out online. 

“Your Honour.  I’m afraid that the comment may have been directed at me.”

Which was an ill-thought out mistake as the answer which came back was fairly predictable with the benefit of hindsight.

“I see, Mr BabyBarista.  What, pray, had you been doing whilst I gave my judgment to elicit such an extreme reaction?  Please enlighten me, do.”

Now I was in it for it and I could think of nothing at all which could have indeed elicited such a reaction and yet still leave me entirely blameless.

“Well, come on Mr BabyBarista.  Let’s hear it then.  What were you doing whilst you should have been taking a careful note of my judgment?”

It’s sad but it was all I could think of which might fit the bill at the time.

“Er, Your Honour, er…”

“Yes, yes, young man.  Get it out.”

“Well Your Honour.  That was really the problem.”

“What was?  What nonsense are you talking about now?”

“Getting it out.  Hot air, that is.  It’s terribly embarrassing really, Your Honour.  I was trying desperately not to pass wind but, well, eventually…”

There was a titter from my opponent’s client behind.

“Oh.  I see.  Oh.  Well.  Quite.  I see.  I do understand.  Well.  Perhaps we should move on then.”

After which he returned to his judgment without further comment.

September 18, 2007 · Tim Kevan · 4 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

4 Responses

  1. FS - September 18, 2007

    Virtual hot air, excellent as always Baby B .

  2. Dominic - September 19, 2007

    Developing a conscience BabyB? and shouldn’t it be ‘wile’ instead of ‘while’? Or has that now become old fashioned?

  3. Sarah - September 20, 2007

    Excellent stuff babyb

  4. Sass - September 26, 2007

    lol