Day 225, week 45: the horror

UpTights took me out for a long lunch today.  She was clearly very pleased with herself for having settled a five day case which was due to start on Monday.  I’d overheard HeadClerk chatting to her earlier and it seems that she will still get her full brief fee of £12,000 even though she hasn’t even prepared the case for trial yet. 

Which all goes to explain her de-mob happy, un-UpTights-type mood when she breezily said,

“Lunch BabyB?  It’s about time we had some time off and got to know each other a little better.”

Well I wasn’t one for arguing and off we went to the most expensive restaurant in the area. 

“Champagne, BabyB?”

For a teetotal de-tox addict, she certainly seems to get her fair share of alcohol in and today was no exception.  By 3pm we’d been through two bottles of the expensive stuff and she was still on for more.

“No point going back to chambers, BabyB.  Not in any state to be billing.”

“Quite so UpTights.”

“Just one more bottle then, perhaps?”

Oh, go on then!  If you must.  Anyway, it all went on until about six in the evening and the more the time passed, the more it dawned on me that UpTights was starting to flirt.  The horror.  On so many levels, none of which you’d want to dwell on for too long.

“You know BabyB if I were twenty years younger…”

She looked at me somewhat wistfully but behind it was a much more frightening look of a predator about to move in for the kill.  It was at this point that I had a decision to make.  To let it go any further would be to pass the point of no return.  I felt her foot brush my ankle under the table and that was enough for me.  The almost visceral sense of horror overtook any other decision-making faculties and I was off.  Like a cartoon character jumping way out of his seat in shock.  Bye, bye.  See you Monday.  Off.

There are many things I would do to get tenancy.  But that is simply not one of them.

August 17, 2007 · Tim Kevan · 8 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

8 Responses

  1. Ex_Umbra - August 17, 2007

    Oh BabyB, you rotten little flirt.
    Now, if the roles had been reversed, and after four or five hours of cosy one-to-one, and three bottles of bubbly, that had been done to you, your thoughts on the matter would need to have been heavily censored before making it into this blog.
    Either a bloody good excuse was needed (death in the family, onset of hives, etc.), which clearly you were not able to come up with on the spur of the moment, or – quite simply – grinning (or grimacing) & bearing, might have been the order of the night, with either to be followed by small “thank you”.
    Your cards are very definitely marked in that corner, and not in a good way…

  2. TheHun - August 17, 2007

    A close escape! But what of your Tenancy chances? You’re really losing them, one by one!

  3. James - August 18, 2007

    Really, Baby B! Most (male) pupils would kill to be in that situation, and you blew your chance?!

  4. sarah - August 18, 2007

    well maybe BabyB would think about it if he were 20 years older…. looking forward to the next post.

  5. Jeancy - August 20, 2007

    I would’ve loved to be in that situation. The opportunity was clearly there for you to strengthen your case for the tenancy. Nevertheless, it could’ve been a trap of some sort by her, but I guess we’ll never know.

  6. Julian - August 21, 2007

    That was quite the precarious situation but you should have bitten the bullet, you’ve done it before albeit presumably with a much more visibly appealing woman. You had a chance to get a leg over the competition in both senses of the meaning is all I can say, many a BabyB may have done what needed to be done and shrugged it off afterwards.
    Quite disappointing BabyB, but I guess it’s all down to how badly you want it. In your case it seems not badly enough.

  7. Emer - August 21, 2007

    Baby B. Its simple make out you ran as you couldn’t control your attraction to her and could not face rejection….apologise profusely and play dumb re: her coming onto you. Its risky but worth a try.

  8. Eric the Hamster - September 1, 2007

    Poor Uptights!
    For those of us reaching our sell-by-date, this story has a big “ouch” factor!