BabyBarista

A worm's eye view of the English Bar

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Archive for June, 2007

Law and Disorder

If you have enjoyed reading parts of this blog and meeting the characters, you might enjoy reading the book in which I re-wrote BabyBarista’s first year in chambers and his fight for tenancy. It is published by Bloomsbury (of Harry Potter fame) and is called Law and Disorder. It was described by broadcaster Jeremy Vine […]

June 30, 2007 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Day 189, week 39: cherish the gift

“How’s the family BabyB?” OldRuin’s sympathetic tone reached parts of a BabyBarista’s heart that his fellow members of the bar failed to reach.  Today he was again treating me to a catch-up lunch at Simpson’s on the Strand. “I’d suggest the roast beef if I were you,” he followed up, softening his enquiry further. “Good […]

June 28, 2007 · Tim Kevan · 7 Comments
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Day 182, week 38: some might say…

Well, now they’re all at it.  Asking my advice, that is.   This time, ThirdSix popped round to chat about what he thought he should do about the rumours started by TopFirst.  Of course, you might by now anticipate my answer.  Yes, it was simply, “Why don’t you ask BusyBody?” Sure enough, by this afternoon, TopFirst […]

June 19, 2007 · Tim Kevan · 4 Comments
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Day 180, week 37: announcement

Today BusyBodyBusyBody announced publicly that she’s pregnant.  Very publicly in fact.  In Chambers Tea. “Excuse me, everybody, but I’d like to make a little announcement.  Some of you might already have heard but I would just like to say that I’m going to be having a baby.  I will finish my pupillage and then take […]

June 15, 2007 · Tim Kevan · 2 Comments
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Day 177, week 37: going backwards

I noticed that The Times had a story last week explaining how researchers have found that if you ask people to recount their story backwards it’s easier to catch out the liars.  Today I thought I’d test this out in court.  My client was a thief and the witness I was wanting to trip up […]

June 12, 2007 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
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Day 174, week 36: TheTramp

The trial against TheVamp is coming up next week and already she’s been around looking for offers.  Of settlement, that is, though it is true to say that her flirting has gone to level “trial minus one week and counting”.  The temperature’s definitely increasing.  Yesterday she offered to buy me a drink after work although […]

June 7, 2007 · Tim Kevan · One Comment
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Day 173, week 36: MrChipOnShoulder

Had the most annoying opponent you could imagine this morning.  He was a fellow pupil but was about ten years older than me and made it clear from the off that he had been “a very successful recruitment consultant before coming to the Bar.”  Bully for you, MrChipOnShoulder.  You really think I’m bothered about what […]

June 6, 2007 · Tim Kevan · Comments Closed
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Day 172, week 36: what’s it all about?

“What’s it all about BabyB?  What’s it all about?” Those were the words of UpTights as I entered her room this morning.  She was poring over a lever arch file on a case I’d already worked on in the past.  It was the one in which our client had knocked over an old lady on […]

June 5, 2007 · Tim Kevan · 3 Comments
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• THE MAIN CHARACTERS

• PanicStricken

  
  

  A new character who's desperate for a training contract but has just been demoted from minimum wage legal assistant to unpaid intern

• OldSmoothie

  
• Think Peter Bowles in To The Manor Born and Milk Tray Man, but not quite. Once successful barrister now put out to graze as a committee man.
• 

• TheCreep

  
• Jumped up little twerp who sucks up to the big beasts in chambers and struts around as if he's really something when actually he's not.

• SlipperySlope

  
  

  Solicitor skilled in the art of creative billing. Has the airs and graces of a country squire but is more a cross between Arthur Daley and Boycie from 'Only Fools and Horses'.

• Smutton

  
  

  Brassy to UpTights’s classy and yet still, somehow, sexy.

• NurserySlope

  
  

  Solicitor who is SlipperySlope's neice. Skis, rides and looks like a horse.

• JetSet

  
  

  A new solicitor character who's got a training contract and lords it over PanicStricken. She's wealthy, well- connected and spends most weekends either skiing or clubbing abroad.

• ScandalMonger

  
• Ruthless PR guru who has become one of BabyB's secret litigation weapons

• BigMouth

  
• Pompous Tory MP stuck on the backbenches like a piece of old chewing gum

• BusyBody

  
• A whirlwind of interference with a good heart and always up for a fight, particularly with OldSmoothie.

• TopFirst

  
• BabyB’s sworn enemy and former fellow pupil

• BabyBarista

  
• A young Flashman meets Rumpole meets Francis Urquart for the 21st century

• OldFatherTime

  
• A whisper on the wind, Highlander-type figure who is older than time itself

• TheVamp

  
• Tenant in chambers and a walking Carry On film of an innuendo

• OldRuin

  
• How a barrister should be. Dumbledore meets Clarence, the angel in Its a Wonderful Life. BabyB’s redemption.

• TheBusker

  
• Barrister of ten years call with the integrity and decency of OldRuin. Very laid back in his approach to both court and life. Admired by BabyB.

• TheBoss

  
• BabyB’s ex-pupilmaster. Unscrupulous, spineless coward.

• HeadClerk

  
• The real power in chambers. All seeing, all knowing.

• PupilFodder

  
• Learner Barrister foisted upon his unsuspecting client who gets shredded in court

• UpTights

  
• BabyB’s pupilmistress for his second six months who was almost called BoTucks for the work she’s had done. Insists on boundaries and personal space. Has ‘issues’.

• JudgeJewellery

  
• Judge with penchant for stealing high street trinkets